Unravelling

Chapter 16 - Irritation

The rest of my school day is agony. Not only am I still incredibly tired, but I also have to fend off curious questions from my friends. They seem to be rather intrigued (Anna and Lauren) as well as confused (Gracie) by my unexplained and sudden desire to abandon them and spend my lunch break at the library instead.

Luckily, Lauren also cannot stop talking about her "date" with Matt, which wasn't even really a date, since his and her friends sat with them. But pointing that out would be petty, plus her going and on about it is a good way to deflect some of their questions that would otherwise be addressed to me.

On the way home, I am grateful that the boys are in the car with Ben and I, since I am sure that he would otherwise have picked up where we left off when I stormed out of the empty classroom. However, Ben shoots me a few meaningful looks via the rear-view mirror that make me feel a bit uncomfortable. Maybe it is just my imagination going wild once again. Or my conscience, as Alex would probably see it.

We have barely left the school behind when my phone buzzes. It is Gracie, who demands an explanation for my "weird behaviour" during our lunch period. This was to be expected, but I have no idea what to tell her.

Should I tell her about my discovery?

Gracie and I have been friends since second grade, when she moved here. I tell her everything and vice versa. But this time, I feel uncertain about whether I should let her in on what I found out.

Maybe she will just tell me to let it go and that it doesn't matter?

I don't think I am ready to hear that. At least not until I have a clearer picture of what is going on and what my brothers have kept from me all these years. However, that creates the next problem: What do I tell her? Gracie knows me too well to buy it that I just wanted to spend some quiet time in the library. I have never done that before, so why should I start now?

An image of Finn flashes through my mind and makes me jump.

What on earth...? Why did I think of him just now?

He is certainly no solution to my current problem. If I were, say, Lauren, it would be different. I could just claim that I had a secret date with him. But Gracie will immediately know that I am not telling the truth, because there is simply no reason why I would not tell her if there was a boy that I liked.

Being the coward I am, I decide to give myself an easy way out: I will ignore her message for now and when she asks me about it tomorrow, I will just say that my phone had died. Or that it had been confiscated by one of my brothers as a punishment for...something. Either way, I am relying on my ability to come up with an explanation on the fly tomorrow, should she put any pressure on me. And knowing her, she is not very likely to let it go.

"Lily!"

Ben's voice startles me.

"What?" I snap back, ready to defend myself in case he decided to bother me about our earlier argument after all.

"Whoa, don't bite my head off. I just wanted to let you know that we're here," Ben replies.

I mentally kick myself for snapping at him. The last thing I need is to give him more reason to lecture me.

"Oh okay. Sorry," I mutter and quickly get out of his car.

Before he has a chance to say anything else, I hurry to my bedroom, claiming that I have a ton of homework to get through. And that is only partially an excuse, because the teachers have already started to pile on the workload. It will definitely be tougher than in middle school.

Once I am in the relative safety of my room, I mindlessly dump the contents of my schoolbag onto my bed and get ready to throw myself next to it. But then my eyes fall onto my lunchbox and my stomach churns. With all that has been going on in class this afternoon – mainly my friends pestering me with questions – I have completely forgotten to get rid of my sandwich.