I blame myself for welcoming you in with open arms.
I should have given you a long rope but now you have comfortably taken up the basement space in my mansion of a mind.
I've let you sit Indian style on my minds board, swaying my thoughts astray and so my body eventually follows along to the beat of your drum.
Flawing my perception with the sweet sour images of sin.
And then you beat me over for giving in. When will this battle be done? When will the war be won?
So dear devil, die already I'm fed up with the constant lies you feed. You keep whispering lies to the ears of my lover, but too bad my lover loves me too good to take your words to heart but damn it, you won't just shut up.
Yet what hurts must aren't the lies you tell my lover Christ but the ones you tell me. When I'm lonely on a Friday night weather for two evening, you whisper to my ears that no one wants me.
When I'm staring at the other me in the mirror you remind me that I'm ugly.
When my back is against the wall and all odds are against me you rub it in that I'm worthless, worthy of only the affection of no one.
You drown me in discontent to the extent I wish the grim reaper cut my life short. I see him in my dreams in the form of a ghost and in reality in pills or blade with one swift gulp or cut I can kiss this world away.
So I wrestle with my dark thoughts until the war is won. Until Christ comes.
Until I feel numb. Until I no longer have to struggle not to dance along to the beat of your drum.
YOU ARE READING
My Lovely Dark Thoughts Vol. 1
PoetryMLDT Vol. 1 is a compilation of 20 short write ups and poems that I've written over the span of 2 years. *** Some of them are pretty personal and others are imaginative. Please note that it contains...
