Sam and Colby: The Penitentiary

47

The exciting buzz of adrenaline quickly faded and I was left with a sore nose and swollen lip. Mandi was right. Fighting? Not something I should be getting involved in. I appreciated Big trying to help me, but learning to fight would be causing me more problems than providing me benefits.

"Alright, Atkins. Come on. Common room," Waco said, walking into the kitchen to escort me to the free time area just like he did every day. I walked into the room and made a beeline for the bookshelf. Theo and I were on the last chapter of our book today. I was really excited to finish it with him, especially considering he'd been waiting upward of twenty years to read the damn thing. I snatched the book off of the shelf and then went over to our couch and plopped down.

"Uh, Vanessa," Porter quietly said, wandering over to me after about ten minutes. I looked up at him. Why was he using my name?

"Yes, sir?" I asked. He quickly looked around the room. "Where's Theo today?"

"Uh...," he said quietly. "Throw the book."

"Fine!" I yelled. I angrily stood up and chucked the book across the room, over a bunch of guys' heads.

"Watch it, Mom," a guy said.

"Atkins! Come with me. Now," Porter yelled. He grabbed my arm and led me out of the room, then around a corner. "Sorry. I needed a reason."

"For what?" I asked.

"To get you out here. I didn't want to tell you in there," he said.

"Tell me wh—," I stopped in the middle of my question. "No. No, don't you dare tell me... no."

"Yeah," he whispered. "This morning."

"He... no, come on. Come on, you're just messing with me. He's okay. Please, tell me he's okay, I can't... this... I can't...please. He's okay. Theo's okay," I said. My voice was coming out broken and cracked, tears already spilling down my face.

"Heart attack. I'm sorry. Really sorry," said Porter.

"I... no," I said. "He... he never got to finish. He didn't get to finish the book, sir. He's been trying to read that book and no one else would help him. Why the fuck did it take twenty god damn years for someone with even the smallest fucking heart to come in here and show the guy just a tiny ounce of compassion? What the fuck is wrong with everyone here? Why the fuck am I even still here? I didn't do shit. I don't fucking belong here, just like Theo doesn't belong in... in heaven right now or however the fuck death works," I said. I was growing angry. All he wanted to do was read a book. That was all.

"I know. Just wanted to tell you. We need to go back in," Porter said.

"I... can I go to the gym instead?" I asked.

"You want to... uh, okay. Yeah," he said, holding his arm out toward the gym door. Every day I'd been in here, I'd spent my free time on that couch with Theo reading that book. But Theo was gone. So was my time on that couch.

I rushed past Porter into the gym, throwing the door open so hard that it slammed against the wall behind it. The loud noise caused everyone in the gym to fall silent and look over at me.

"Fuck off. All of you. Don't fucking look at me," I yelled. All of their eyes grew a little wide and they looked back and forth between each other.