"What, you're going on a diet?!" Rachael exclaimed in shock, eyes as big as saucers.
"Yeah," I replied nonchalantly.
"But you're so skinny!" Rachael squealed.
"For a girl who weighs 60kg and is 1.55m tall, of course," I thought. Of course I didn't say that out loud.
I honestly wondered why I had to make friends with such..fat people. I'm not the type to discriminate people based on their weight, but Rachael's gluttony has been having a huge effect on me. Ever since I've been with her the past 3 years, I've been growing - sideways. This was all due to the influence under her - eating fries drenched with oil and everything fried for breaks, I think she drank a can of soft drink per day. Of course, being with her half of the time, I got influenced by her eating habits and started to eat more junk too, thinking that it was okay to eat whatever I want. So well, she was to blame for my plight now.
3 years ago, eating all the food I want equates to happiness. When I was 14, all the girls were oh-so-dramatic, making big fusses out of their weight, going on fad diets. I used to think that was extremely stupid of them. Hell no, I'm not giving up my food, screw diets!
3 years later, I realised what they had meant.
I really wanted to go on a diet to change myself. I hated my elephant thighs and fat legs that jiggled whenever I walked. Part of them were muscles but they still made me look like a walking, fat, dinosaur. I didn't want to have that protruding stomach that I always saw when I was showering. I didn't want my big waist that made me have an apple like body. I didn't want to be made fun of my chubby cheeks that developed since I was young.
Whenever I asked my mum what she thought of my body, she said, "Look at you, you should exercise more!" Which was a hint that she thought I was fat. My mum looked so skinny like a bamboo, I didn't know where I got my fat genes from.
I didn't want to be teased about my chubbiness anymore. I don't want to be called, "that
chubby girl" ot "the fat looking girl". I wanted to be that girl who was skinny. I wanted to be known as "the skinny girl", "the slender girl". I wanted to look good in a bikini. I wanted to wear crop tops freely. I wanted to wear mini skirts and shorts confidently. I wanted to wear sleeveless clothes to show of my thin arms. I wanted hipbones, collarbones, thigh gaps, hourglass figure, whatever. I had the burning urge to be skinny and be popular. My ultimate goal.
Installed the calorie counting apps on my phone, browsed thinspo tumblr blogs, tossed all the cookies and sweets in the trash.
I measured myself thoroughly, 53kg, 1.56m, 36-30-34
Day one of dieting starts now.
Comment pretty please?(:
