You Got It Bad

Exposed

My blood runs cold and I don’t know what to do. I’m too afraid to move, I’m to afraid to even breath. He drops the trash bin and the other three tests spill out onto the floor and his eyes grow in shock as he notices that there are more then one. He shots me a menacing look and drops the test in his hands.

He starts to pace before looking at me. “Are you pregnant?” he asks again. I swallow, “Huh?” I say lamely.

He walks towards me and I step back eventually falling on the bed. “You heard me! Are you Pregnant!” I feel tears burn at the back of my eyes. “Yes…”

He runs his hands across his face, a dazed look in his eyes.

He stares at me and I can’t hold back the tears as I silently begin to sob. “I was going to tell you…I just needed time, I wanted to tell you at the right moment.”

He curses, “Damn it! Danielle, have you gone for a check up yet?” I shake my ‘no’. “You might not even be pregnant!” I wipe at my eyes and sniffle, “I took four tests and they all came out positive…” He curses again. “How can you be pregnant? I used protection! I made sure to use protection!” I sniffed, wiping my nose with the back of my hand. “We slipped up a couple of times…I don’t know.” He shot me a dirty look. I gasped at the anger in his eyes. “Is this what you wanted? You tell me that you’ve been in love with me since high school, we sleep together and you get pregnant? Did you plan this?”

I stand up, his accusation striking me in my gut. “You think I planned to get pregnant? How could I possibly plan this? Huh! How?” I’m shouting now, anger making its way through me. He steps closer to me; his body is up against mine. “You can’t be pregnant because I know I used protection. Have you been with someone else?” My mouth dropped open. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening. I glare up at him and as my eyes meet his, I no longer saw anger but I saw fear, pure unadulterated fear shone in his chocolaty eyes. “I didn’t sleep with anyone else. You’re the only man that I’ve ever been with. I didn’t plan this.”

He searched my eyes for a bit before he stepped away from me. He sighed, “I need to think.” He walked past me and I followed slowly behind him.

“We have to talk about this.” I whispered against his back but he said nothing. “I’m not ready for parent hood and-” he turned towards me, “I don’t want to be shackled down.” With that he walked out of the door, leaving me to stare after him, my heart did a tap dance in my chest and for the second time that night I cried.

I found myself lying in bed, unable to move. My heart ached with the realization that he wasn’t going to come back.

 I spent days lying in bed, thinking and finding a bit of peace in sleep only to wake up and be alone. I flipped onto my back and placed my arm across my eyes, attempting to hold off the tears.

I sniffed; then the ‘what ifs’ started to present themselves in my mind. If I had bought a car instead of saving money I wouldn’t have had to ride the bus thus I wouldn’t have missed it… If I had just ignored him maybe he wouldn’t have noticed me! If I had just said no to him, none of this would be happening!

 

After a long, fitful night I finally found sleep.

As my eyes opened I jerked up, my eyes searching my room for traces of Damion. But as I realized that the events of last night were real I sank back into my pit of self pity. An hour had past before I became restless; I needed to take my mind off of him. I needed to concentrate on something other then the drama that I was experiencing.