deal: Yandere America x Country Reader x Germany

Part 23: The Shadows Feel Different Now

AN: For those who may be confused, the italics are an indication of memories.

(Y/N)'s POV:

"What?!"  a cranky voice rings through the dark, small room. 

I pick my head up from my cold, tear covered naked knees to gaze at the older, scruffy man standing in the doorway as he stares down a small girl that looked just like I did when I was a young girl; (H/C) hair ratty and unkempt, clothes dirty, pale and barely covering her beaten, shivering body.

The only light being the door slightly open with an older man starring down my smaller form with a lit cigarette in his mouth. "You're telling me you want food because your stomach hurts?"  He asked and puffed a breath of smoke into the young girls face. 

"Please, *cough* sir." My small voice cracks while another growl noise is heard coming from me and the pain intensifies.

'It's called hunger and you'll never be satisfied.' I bitterly thought to myself. While still watching the scene play out in front of me. 

"Well come'ere then." The stubby man stated after taking another puff of his cigarette and pulling the slender arm of my younger self harshly. Her arms look like bones with sleeves, they were so small. One-touch and they might break. 

Without a moment to waste the man smothered the lit end of his tobacco into the little girl's arms. She hissed in pain, but the man didn't care as he began to scream in her face "This is what happens when you expect something from others!"  With that Mr. Welsh, as I remember my tormentor's name, threw my crying little self to the ground of the cell floor, and watched as she began to shake and cry beneath his sharp gaze. 

I wanted to go over to her and help her up, but I knew there would be nonsense to interact with something that was only part of my imagination. 

"You're a country, brat! So try to act like one! Countries don't need food to live!" Mr. Welsh shouted. "When you eat you take it from the mouths of those who need it to survive! You're a hideous freak, a rat! You won't die no matter what we do to you! " There was a silent moment as he stopped to stare at the wheeling little girl below him.

 "You roach."  Was the last thing he muttered before completely slamming the door, leaving the young girl to ball her eyes out in pain and sadness. There no one would hear as she broke down except for the shadows surrounding her. They were the only thing that didn't hurt her in her pathetic, beaten life.

That's not the worse thing to happen to her. She was merciful towards her this time. There have been other times where Mr. Welsh would hold her down to beat and torment her for hours. That usually happened when he was drunk though. Those days made the young girl wish she were like every other human so she could have died and been free from the agony she felt. 

'Here we are again.' I bitterly thought to myself. 'alone in the dark.' This time, however, feels different from the past. Back then the being isolated in the darkness felt like a blessing. No one would hurt me there. 'Why is it haunting now to be in the one place I once loved?' I asked myself. 

The light, that's what happened. It was brought in to my life when I didn't deserve it's kindness and made the shadows turn bleak and irritable. A face I long knew came to my mind at the thought of this fuzzy feeling. 'Ivan.' The one who saved me on that terrible day. 

I couldn't take the light I was he gave and I ran from it. I ran from Ivan. I just didn't want to be his burden anymore and I needed my freedom in order to. It left a painful hole in my heart since the day I left him in the chilling dust. From then on I carried the crater in my heart and it seemed as if it would always be apart of me. At least the first puncture had some company then.