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V

We lived together at this point. One night I had come home,  and he asked me to do something but I didn't hear him. So, I asked him what he wanted and he just snapped. He started yelling and calling me all kinds of stupid bitches and a hoes and so many other things and the yelling resulted in me getting a black eye. Of course I was stupid and didn't learn the first time, I stayed. I was ashamed to go home and show my daddy that I wasn't strong enough to get away from him. It was like I was paralyzed in fear at home and of what he'd do if I tried to leave," she chuckled dryly, sipping from the wine glass in front of her.

Her friends were astonished. They never would think someone like her who was so fierce and strong would go through something like that.

"I stupidly reasoned that it wasn't his fault he was lashing out he must have been stressed out and my attitude just sent him over the edge. I managed to hide my eye from my family when I'd see them, but after that it was an endless cycle. He'd hit me and apologize over and over and I stupidly forgave him every single time.

Then I got pregnant. When I found out I was already nearly two months. I told my big brother first, he was excited because as far as he knew, Devin and I were still in a loving happy relationship. My next thought was to go to my boyfriend's house, he'd be happy right? Maybe the baby would make everything okay, maybe he just needed to see that I loved him. I was so so wrong about that shit.

After I told him. he was completely silent, he didn't say anything for five minutes. I didn't think he'd be ecstatic about the pregnancy but I didn't think he'd react that way either. When he finally responded he asked me if I cheated on him. I denied it, almost offended he would even ask me some stupid ass question like that and I said those exact words to him and he flipped shit on me. He started swinging on me and he hit my face with almost every swing. He busted my lip and blacked my left eye. He hit my head up against a wall and kicked me down a flight of stairs, I was holding my stomach the entire way down praying nothing was gonna happen to my baby. It seemed like he flew down the stairs after me and delivered blow after blow to my face until I blacked out," she breathes out, blinking back tears.

Sincere immediately reached out and rubbed her arm comfortingly, to try and soothe her even if just a little.

"When I came to, I was by myself in his bed. My legs was throbbing, everything was hurting. I was limping and bleeding between my legs and I—I cried for so long. I couldn't believe I let it get to that point. I was so stupid, and so naïve, I actually thought his ass would change. I really believed in him after he broke me down like that and I hate myself for it. I ended up losing my baby, and I left. I went home to my dad and we cried. He took me to the hospital, turns out he bruised my cervix, fractured two of my ribs and broke my nose. I um...I tried to take him to court, but my cousins and brothers jumped him so bad it looked like assault. I did get a restraining order that obviously has lifted since. It's just a lot," she sighed heavily.

E'ani never thought she'd be an abuse victim. She was always seeing documentaries and commercials about domestic violence and wondered why they couldn't leave, or why they didn't just tell. But then she experienced it. The paralyzing fear, the feeling as if you don't known what's gonna happen to you if he catches you near the front door.

The shame that came along with being abused, knowing you should be strong enough to walk away and hating yourself for allowing it to get to the point where you're damn near dead until you come to your senses. She hated that she'd been raped. Degraded and used to that degree. Every part of her college experience was traumatizing until she crossed the stage and she hated that she let a man do that to her.

"I'm so sorry you had to deal with that, babe. We're so glad you're here to tell it though, you're extremely strong for even being able to sit here and tell us this," Nyx said. "You never deserved anything like that to happen to you, you're such a good girl, a sweet and kind soul. I pray you've found peace with yourself," she continued, actually making Yanni tear up.