How bad could it be to enlist your female best friend into helping you lie to your Christian family about your new relationship with your male best friend and about your newfound sexuality?
Not that bad, right?
Right???
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Nova Queen and Ari...
The next thing I knew, it had been another forty minutes later and I had fallen asleep, but I felt something heavy slide into the bed next to me.
"Ari?" I said half asleep.
"Yeah, Nov, it's me. I'm sorry I kept you so long. I just got out the shower."
His voice sounded a little deeper than usual and hoarse like he might have been crying. Crying and yelling.
"I'm glad you came back. Why are you so far away on the bed? Scoot closer."
But he didn't. For some reason, he stayed put. Maybe he didn't hear me? I did say it kinda quiet.
I decided to scoot closer to him myself but as soon as I put my arm around him, he flinched. Hard.
"Hey, it's just me. I know you're upset, but I'm here for you, ok? You'll get through this and I'll be by your side. So will the rest of your family."
"I don't deserve you Nova," he says beginning to sniffle.
"Says who? Did I say that?"
"No, but—"
"But nothing. If I didn't say it and you didn't hear me say it, then it must not be true."
I could hear him starting to quietly cry and could feel him trying to gently move away from me. I grabbed his arm and pulled him down to my level where I was laying on the bed and put my arms around him to hug. This only made him cry more and harder.
I rubbed his head and the back of his neck to try and soothe him as he cried little ponds in the crook of my neck.
"You don't understand," he started saying between sniffs, "I don't deserve you. I'm a fuck up! I always have been and continue to be! Something happened."
"Shh, Ari. You are not a fuck up. Sure, you've made some questionable decisions in your life, but you aren't that same person anymore. As soon as you decided you needed to stop lying and to make better choices, was the beginning of your new life. You'll get through this, ok? And anything else you want to talk about we'll talk about in the morning. Just try and get some sleep for now."
I continued to rub and hold him and after a minute or two, I felt his weary arms wrap around me in return and clutch me tight. I pulled away from him briefly to kiss his forehead and then closed my eyes. I was so tired, but I wasn't too tired to comfort him. Whatever else he needed to say could wait till the next day when we both were in a better state.
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Stretching your body in the morning right after waking up is one of the most satisfying things to do. Hearing the worrying, but satisfying, pop and crack sound as your body lets you know that you're getting older, but being the young person that you are, you don't care because you're in denial.
I stretched out my arms and legs and extended the entirety of my 5'8 length the next morning, forgetting that Ari would've been next to me, but I didn't feel him there. There was no groan as I should've hit him. No smack sound as I should've accidentally hit him in the forehead.
