Mirage

CHAPTER SIXTY

It seemed to be that Alex was always mad at Barry for something.

He had gotten used to her angry eyes and scowl on her face when she approached him. Her yelling had also been something that he had gotten accustomed to mostly because she meant well by her words, even if they did come out in a harsh tone. Barry Allen was used to her being angry because he knew how much she worried about him.

This time, it was just the same as all the others when she paced back and forth in front of him, spewing out words of worry, anger, and thankfulness that he was okay. Barry sat and took it all in, watching as her facial expressions changed second to second. This was something that he knew was going to happen.

The night before, Barry and Alex had joined up at the West home since Wally returned from Earth-3. He had a good time with Jesse but was glad to be back home. Joe came back, telling the gang that he told Cecile the truth about everything, along with their secret identities. They had told him that it was okay to tell her.

However, while the five of them were laughing and having a good time, Barry seemed to zone out after a little while. When they finally got his attention again, he ran off saying that he would be right back. He wasn't. After an hour, Alex called him worried sick about where he was and what happened.

Turns out that he had not only figured out who Savitar was, but had gone after him as well. Barry promised that he would explain everything the next day when the whole team was there. It didn't mean that she wasn't going to get mad at him that night for being stupid enough to face Savitar alone.

So, while Alex belted her heart out about how he should have known better to go after him alone, Barry only admired how much he loved that woman. By the end of her speech, Barry had pulled her into his arms and they collapsed onto their bed. He was safe, and that was all that mattered.

The next day, they arrived at STAR Labs with the dreadful news about who Savitar really was. It turns out, that after Alex's death, Barry goes back in time over and over again in hopes to defeat Savitar with time remnants. One of those remnants lived and turned into Savitar.

It was an endless loop with no beginning and no end. Barry had created Savitar without even being aware of it. Attempting to save Alex from death was the reason that she was killed. It took her a little bit of time to finally wrap her head around the fact that under that big metallic suit was a man with the same face as the person she loved most.

After explaining what he knew to the team, Barry left the group in hopes to think about this truth. Alex chased after him, finding him down in the speed lab on Cisco's treadmill. To no surprise, it seemed like he was upset about finding out that it was another version of himself trying to kill her.

"What was he like?" Alex asked, as she made her way to sit next to him. Barry only hoped that knowing that it was his remnant that was trying to kill her wouldn't deter her away from the real, present him.

"Broken. Kinda reminded me of you a little bit," Barry told her. Alex sarcastically thanked him for comparing her killer to herself. "You know I didn't mean it like that. It's just that, after all this time I though that Savitar was some monster and it's just some broken part of me that never found happiness.

"He said that it was like looking in a mirror and he was right. But not just the way that he looked. It was in his eyes, the pain that was inside them. I've seen it in myself, I've seen it in you. When I think about how violently my parents died, sometimes I want to repay that violence with more violence. I want to make someone hurt as much as I do."

"But you don't" Alex snaked her arm around his. "You're a good person but I know what you mean. That pain, that anger, I know all to well what it can lead to. But it's what makes us human. We live through the pain and the sorrow so that we get to enjoy the happiness and love too."