deluded ♔ hemmings

song

deluded; song

b l a k e

"No, I'm paying for the pizza, so I refuse to get you one with pineapple on it," Ashton speaks, typing on his phone. "Not happening."

"Ash, come on. Please?" Camila is sitting on top of the kitchen counter, her legs dangling off the countertop. I'm perched beside her, a small laugh escaping my lips. "I just bought you forty chicken nuggets last week."

"Cam, no." Ashton continues to type in the order with one hand as his other waves her off dismissively.

"Pretty please?" She begs, her lips forming a small pout shortly after.

Ashton looks up, his eyes softening as he smiles softly.

"Fine, but just this once." He rolls his eyes playfully before turning to Mike look at the other people occupying the open kitchen and living room area. "Now, do any of you guys have any outrages requests, or is pepperoni fine?"

We all hum, seeming to agree with the basic pizza topping.

"You guys are lame," Cam speaks as she hops off the countertop. "My taste buds are just more immaculate." She puts on a faux french accent as she blows a kiss at me.

"Says the one who likes to dip their Oreos in orange juice," Michael mumbles to himself, causing him, Luke and Cal, to laugh.

"He has a point, babe," I say to Cam, a playful grin on my lips. She frowns softly before walking over to the couch. She practically throws herself down on the couch, face first, her signature pout on her face, I assume.

It's been three days since I broke down to Cam about my thoughts on Luke, and I've honestly tried my hardest to push the thoughts out of my brain. I don't want to think about it, the situation causing more stress than necessary.

"Thank you again for buying dinner tonight, Ash." I look at the hazel-eyed boy, the grin still on my lips. "I didn't feel like cooking."

"No problem, little one." He grins at me as he sets his phone down on the kitchen table.

"I didn't exactly wanna eat your food, so I'm not complaining about getting pizza," Calum says, causing a gasp to erupt from my lips.

"What's that supposed to mean? You guys love my cooking." I frown, crossing my arms.

"We tolerate your cooking because if we didn't then, we'd all have to put up with Luke's food. Everybody in their right mind wouldn't go near his concoctions with a ten-foot pole."

I let out a laugh, right as Luke scoffs. "Hey!"

"Oh, come on, Luke. Remember the last time you made spaghetti? I didn't even know it was possible to burn the noddles, but you somehow managed to do so."

"That was a one-time thing." Luke frowns, his words coming out softly as he looks at his feet.

He looks like a child; sweet and innocent. Memories of our time in the kitchen cooking and baking flood back into my mind, and I look down at my lap. No matter what I do, I can't seem to escape from the past.

"You okay?" I'm pulled from my thoughts as someone climbs on the counter beside me. I look up and see the person I least expected, Luke.

"Yeah, I'm f- wait." I cut myself off, my eyes narrowing. "Did you just ask me if I was okay?" I question slowly, trying to process what just happened.

"Yeah," He lets out a short, breathy laugh. "I guess I did."

I stare at him for a few short moments, trying to figure out what I want to say. "Yeah, I'm fine."

I look around, noticing that everyone else has made their way into the living room, leaving only Luke and I in the kitchen. My eyes find a place to focus on; my hands which were resting in my lap.

"If it makes you feel any better, I like your cooking," Luke says, his hand moving over slightly, so his pinky finger is pressed against my thigh softly.

My breath gets caught in my throat at the subtle action. "Thank you?" The words come out as somewhat of a question. "What are you doing, Luke?"

"What? Can I not sit in the kitchen and have a conversation with you?"

"The only type of conversations that we've had at all in the last four years have been us spewing insults at each other." I frown and look up at him, anger taking over. "You haven't asked me what's wrong in years. It's been years, Luke."

He presses his lips together, looking away for a few short moments before turning his head to look back down at me. "I know, and I'm sorry."

I jump off the counter and stand in front of him. Even when I'm standing, I'm still much shorter than him. "You're sorry?" My words come out harsh and slightly raised. "Oh, this is great."

"Bl-"

"No, Luke. You do not get to act like everything is okay after all this time!" I interrupt him, taking a step forward. "Do you know how much pain you have caused me? You left me, Luke!" By now, my tone has escalated, causing everyone in the living room to snap their heads up.

"Hey, everything okay?" Calum stands up from the couch and walks over to me, his hand resting against the small of my back. "Blake, what's wrong?"

I feel the tears welling in my eyes, causing them to sting. "Nothing." I scoff slightly. I look up, and my eyes find Luke's. I wait for him to say something, but nothing comes out of his lips. I shake my head and push my way past Cal.

"Blake-"

"Not now, Cam," I say softly as I head up the steps and into my room.

I am so tired of letting Luke get to me. I don't know what to do anymore. He gets under my skin and makes me so angry. I've waited so long for him to apologize to me, and when the words finally leave his mouth, and I can do nothing but yell at him.

I fall back against my bed, my eyes closed. I pull a pillow over my face and let out a loud sigh. I can feel a tear run down the corner of my eye.There's knock at my door. "Blake?" The voice that follows makes my body tense, and more tears to escape

"Go away, Luke," I say, my words coming out muffled due to the pillow. "I don't want to talk to you."

"Blake, please let me in." Luke's words are soft. "I want to show you something."I sit up, throwing the pillow at the door. "I said, go away!" I stand up and make my way over to the window. I look out at the night sky, tears running down my face. "Why can't you ever just leave me alone?"

A few moments pass before I hear the sound of fading footsteps. I wipe my tears from my face before looking over at the door where Luke just stood. I notice a piece of paper had been pushed under the door. Once I walk over to it, I bend down and pick it up. I see the words "Blake, I truly am sorry." written at the top.

I furrow my eyebrows and walk back over to my bed. I sit at the edge of it before I look back down at the piece of paper. It seems to be a letter, with words crossed out now and then.

As my eyes scan the paper, I finally realize just what this is.

It's not a letter. It's a song.

A song that Luke wrote.

I shake my head softly and start reading.

You've got a million reasons to hesitate,
But darling, the future's better than yesterday.
I wasted so much time on people that reminded me of you.
Gave you a million reasons to walk away