[4] Playing by My Rules, Part 1

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"Don't feed the devil flames, their greed will only grow bigger

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"Don't feed the devil flames, their greed will only grow bigger."

Hypothetically, if Maia still loved Ryan, nothing would've changed. Maia would still be Queen - one with a crown that is slowly slipping from her grasp - and Ryan would still be with Brynn when Maia was not there. Maia wouldn't know that what's hers, isn't anymore. In fact, it got stolen in the midst of night.

But, who's to say she doesn't love him? Don't forget there's two sides to the same coin. Two outcomes, same feeling. It was just a matter of choosing. Maia knows she has to give him up, that she needs to finally turn her back. She can't keep turning the page, only to be disappointed all over again. How can she start her new chapter, when she can't stop re-reading the last?

Letting go isn't easy for Maia. Simply because she's never had to let go. Anything she's owned, she kept. So in a way, Ryan was never in her possession. It was just an illusion she made up in her head. One she was able to convince herself that it was real.

Now that she has come to reality, her heart has still not accepted the truth. The unwavering truth. Maia's mind can try to say it all it wants, but her heart is stronger than her mind. In the end, the heart always speaks. 'Maybe if I pull hard enough, or if I say the right words. Or maybe if I find a way to travel back in time, he will be mine again.' Thoughts like these raided Maia's fine every night. Unfortunately, Maia knows it is not possible.

The hardest part is learning to live again. Before Ryan Wellington blessed Maia's life, everything was black and white. She was simply a doll in the glass case. She was in a world, alive, but not, alive. Ryan showed Maia what having fun really was. And now that Maia looks back at it, he gave his all, while Maia never gave anything at all. She always liked receiving more anyways.

Now, Maia has found 'home' in the wreckage. The complete opposite of calm after the storm. That is how it was meant to be right? After every storm that passes by, everything is still. It is Calm. After the screams and the hounding of the clouds, the tears seem to slowly stop falling, and everything is silent.

Afterwards, you are meant to leave the mess, clean up and keep going on. But Maia has always done differently.

Maia now wishes that the two never learnt to fly together, because then she'd have an easier landing. Maybe it was her fault, Maia thought. Ryan and Maia were practically made for each other, everyone knew that. But Maia knows she can't blame her misfortune on another.

She thought that the more you go through with another, means that they eventually won't leave you. How wrong she was. Even though Ryan and Maia went through so much, he still left. Maia just wishes she was in his arms all over again. That, and see the same mischief in his eyes. The same emotion he'd have whenever he was around Maia; yet he never shared what he was thinking.

Just as Maia was about to run through every single day she lived with and without Ryan, her door burst open revealing her dearest older brother. He speed walked to her bed with an excited look covering his face. "Guess what, Maia." Micah started to shake her shoulders violently, causing Maia to grab onto his wrists pulling him off of her.

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⏰ Poslední aktualizace: Jun 14, 2021 ⏰

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