oxygen ● haikyuu x male reader || DISCONTINUED

f i f t e e n

❝when he's on the court, it feels like neither side can breathe properly without his permission. he rules above all in the court. ❞

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a/n: now, you may be wondering where the hell i went. that's a seriously good question and the answer is, i don't really know! things have happened, some things haven't happened, idk. isolating sorta has me quaking in boredom. i'm here to... drum roll please.... 

update this book!

anyways, recapping the last chapter if you don't wanna read it:
>  after owning up to his 'sinful pride', m/n confronts coach ukai who tells him they won't put his skills to waste.
> somewhat relieved, m/n goes to a florist to pick up a bouquet of red spider lilies and pink carnations. actually, i chose these flowers for their meanings. red spider lilies represent the afterlife, and they guide people to their next life to reincarnate. pink carnations symbolise a mother's love, a deep and unconditional love. they also represent gratitude and a feeling of 'i'll never forget you.'
> m/n goes to the grave of his parents where he makes a declaration to both himself and his parents that he'll begin to live his life properly from here on.

and here's our favourite scene from the last chapter:
> a paparazzo catches m/n at the grave of his parents and takes a picture, claiming it will sell for good.

also whilst writing that, i totally forgot some readers would be new and not know about my i think 4-5 month(?) hiatus! sorry to those people ;)

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home, strange place it was. it'd always given m/n a suffocating feeling around his throat, like a drowning man in the ocean, he wanted to claw his way out of that wretched place, he wanted to escape it's grip so desperately, but he never could. like a drowning man loves air, m/n loved being free, free from the clutches from the place he called home.

strings would tighten around his heart- that was usually a description people gave when they were in love, but for m/n, those strings were chains which held him captive. his freedom and happiness would be locked up by the unforgiving despair of being home. the same chains would tug at his senses, a cold silence constantly falling over him. at home, m/n was truly alone, with his own body, his cruel thoughts and the tortuous memories of the past.

m/n l/n...
 was convinced that he had killed his parents.

not physically of course, he was only an innocent youth when it happened, but he knew it happened because of him. when m/n was a young, bright child, the amount of money his parents received after m/n had won competitions was exposed to the world. a malicious user had found out and decided that they were going to ruin m/n for the rest of his life. 

m/n was abducted. kidnapped. 

the feeling of tight ropes burning against his slim, fragile wrists as he'd try to twist out of them and end up with rope cuts, or the immense pounding of his heartbeat that silenced any other noise, m/n could feel the beating in his ears, along with the physical thumping inside his chest. that day, he was blinded. he couldn't see, his eyes were covered. the terror of being unable to see, unable to know where he was, who had stolen him from the loving care of his parents. he missed his mother's warm embrace, her doting words of affection. he missed his father's dorky jokes and playful roughhousing.