Your Place Or Mine? BOOK VERSION (PUBLISHED BY VIVA PSICOM)

Chapter 61: Breathe Again

Hindi ko namalayan ang oras. Dinner na. Mukhang nakatulog na ang dalawa kasi wala na akong naririnig na ingay.

"Ano'ng niluluto mo?' tanong ni Seth at yumakap sa baywang ko.
He's so close that I can feel his breath on my neck.

"Your're favorite. Adobo."

And I'm pretending to ignore that comfort and warmth of his pure-muscled chest on my back.

"Ang bango," sabi nito.

Tumawa ako. "Talagang mabango. Masarap kaya 'to."

"That, too. Pero ang sabi ko, ikaw ang mabango."

We've been together for almost three months now. At sa tingin ko, nawala na ang pagkailang ko sa kanya. But this time, my cheeks flushed. And I know that he's gazing at me right now.

We're together, because I gave him a chance. I chose to start my life again with him. It's been barely three years since I left and I haven't heard anything from Russell. None of my family dared to mention anything about him, not even his name.

Kahit si Hans, ingat-ingat ito. I know they see each other. Well, as business partners maybe. But not as "brother-in-laws". I have to let go of all the memories. His memories. And I'm sure he did the same. He must have a life of his own now. A life with that bitch, probably. That's the most painful thought I had to endure.

Nalulungkot ako. Pero hindi na kagaya ng dati na tuwing naiisip ko siya, tumutulo agad ang mga luha ko. Those were the darkest days of my life. I've never felt so alone. My life was difficult. I was lifeless. And I was pregnant.

Sabi ko sa sarili ko noon, kapag umalis ako, hindi na ako iiyak. Pero hindi ko talaga kaya. At walang nakakaalam sa tunay kong nararamdaman. I kept my sorrow to anyone. At walang araw na hindi ako umiyak. Walang araw na hindi ko siya naiisip. There were times that I wanted to go back to him and begged him to choose me. Part of me waited for him, para sunduin niya ako. But it never happened.

But I survived. My life has changed when Reese came. She's now the center of my everything. Sa kanya ko ibinuhos lahat ng oras at atensyon ko. And I couldn't ask for more. Pero kapag naiisip ko ang nangyari sa amin ng Daddy niya, nalulungkot ako para sa kanya. Paulit-ulit akong nagso-sorry sa kanya dahil hindi ako naging mabuting asawa. Dahil doon nagkahiwalay kami ng ama niya at hindi man lang niya makakasama ito sa paglaki niya. At alam kong hahanapin niya ito pagdating ng panahon.

Seth has been very patient with me since day one. That night I left, I stopped in Paris to meet him. I had no one to turn to. Good thing, he was still there. And he knew that something was wrong when he saw me. But he didn't dare to ask. It's so him. He gave me time. And he never insisted or mentioned his feelings again.

My family never interferred. Lalo na si Mommy. And she felt so guilty, taking all the blame. Pinagsisihan niya ang arranged marriage na ginawa nila para sa amin ni Russell.

Pero ako, wala akong kahit na isang bahid ng pagsisisi. Life with him was a one roller coaster ride. Despite the ups and downs, he gave me a taste of a perfect life. And he gave me the greatest gift. Si Reese.

I've always loved him. Kahit pagbalibaliktarin man ang mundo, hindi ko ito maitatanggi. Ama siya ng anak ko. He will have a special place in my heart. Though my heart will never be whole again.

I never imagined I'd love again. Until one day, it just happened. Before I even realized I've fallen for him. For Seth.

The thunder roared and unleased a violent lightning. I covered my ears and leaned closer to him. Niyakap niya ako at hinaplos sa likod.