A Round Trip to Love 1: LONG WAY HOME

Chapter Forty

My breath caught in my throat.

The bedroom door was pushed opened forcefully, followed by the sound of a quick raid before Lu Feng emerged from it and headed straight for the kitchen.

"Xiao Chen, come out ! I need to talk to you !"

"My brother is not here ! What are you doing ! !" Yi Chen did not make it subtle when he rushed over to close the kitchen door.

I was hiding in the dark quietly as the sound of scuffling grew gradually louder just outside the door, my anxious heart thumping away.

When Yi Chen yelped in pain, I had to let down my guard, pushing the door open: "Yi Chen! Are you ok!"

Yi Chen was crouched over, a hand covering his face with a visible bruise forming, yelling in exasperation: "Why did you come out ?"

"Is it painful?" I wrapped my arms around his waist, and gently touched his bruised face.

"I'm, I'm ok......" Even in this situation, he had to be bashful, his face blushing.

I found the first aid box and focused all my attention on applying medicinal oil on his bruises, deliberately turning a blind eye to the third party in the house.

Lu Feng's surprised and happy expression gradually turned cold as he observes my absolute devotion to my baby brother.

"Xiao Chen."

I raised my head to acknowledge him with the same indifference one affords a stranger on the street.

"Come back with me ......"

"You are injured." I passed him the medicinal oil, "Apply some."

A brief look of disbelief flashed across his face as he took over the medicine, his hands trembling.

"You may leave after you are done."

He stopped in the middle of his actions, his despondency obvious: "You ...... are still unwilling to forgive me? I actually ......"

" You don't have to explain."

He tensed.

"I forgive you."

His sunken cheeks and hollow eyes exuded some sense of being consoled as he slumped his shoulders in relief.

"So you will come back with me now?"

He stood up stiffly: "Xiao Chen ......"

"Lu Feng, I know what you want to say." I interrupted him, "However there is no way for us to start over, do you understand?"

My heart sank at the sight of sadness overtaking his eyes, and forced myself not to look away: "I can tell you now I will not hate you, but for us to go back to how we were in the past ...... to be together like how we were five years ago, that is impossible. Lu Feng, we have both grown up, we are not the same anymore."

"How are we not the same?" His voice hoarse.

"I ...... don't love you anymore."

He stood there solemnly, the sudden quietude in the house almost overbearing my senses.

Putting on a pretense, I fussed over Yi Chen, pulling him up under his arms to assist him to the bedroom: "You can go now. Be safe on the road."

Why do you have to take it so hard and look like you are about to fall into pieces? I have forgiven you haven't I? The victim is me, is it not?

"It does not matter." He said suddenly, struggling to form the words, "It does not matter even if you do not love me anymore."

I stood still with my back to him.

"We will take it slow, you will fall in love with me again."

"............"

"We have a lifetime ahead of us ...... We can go back to how we were, no matter how long it takes or how far it is, we can go back."

I laughed dryly: "Between the two of us ...... when would we have a long time."

"If we get married? We will have a lifetime if we get married, do we not? With such a long time, there is nothing we can't accomplish, there is nowhere we won't arrive at? We can do this ......"

"Please leave." I cut him off abruptly, "Leave! !"

He did not continue speaking, nor did he leave.

"Yi Chen, send him off, I don't want to see him ever again." I did not dare to turn around.

"Xiao Chen, come with me. Give me some time, we can be happy together again, please believe me ......"

"You are so absurd." I began to scoff at what he said, but I could not bring myself to say more.

Yi Chen went to open the door wordlessly.

A moment of silence later, I heard his slow footsteps walking out, a step at a time.

Each step like a trample over my heart.

"Come, let's have some supper." Light-heartedly scooping the fried rice into a bowl, I exclaimed, "Ah ...... it has turned cold, should I heat it up first? I might need to add more seasoning too ......"

A large droplet of tear landed straight into the bowl, I was caught off guard, as another droplet quickly followed suit.

Yi Chen was at a loss: "Brother ...... Please don't cry."

"Nonsense, who's ...... crying ......" Weird, why have I lost my voice.

Is it really me, who is in such agony ...... Am I ...... really feeing so wretched?

Leaving that man, will finally allow me to live a peaceful and happy life. Am I wrong?

" The weather forecast said there will be frost tonight." Yi Chen was getting ready to close the curtains to get ready for bed, yet he stood by the window unmoving, feeding me this useless information.

"Mmm." I replied distractedly, my fingers busy on the keyboard trying to concentrate. I have been taking up sporadic projects as a way to earn some extra income, often requiring me to pull an all nighter.

" ...... Brother, you should sleep early."

"You sleep first, I might have to stay up until 3am at least." I felt dispirited as I kept making mistakes on the programming code despite my best effort to focus.

Yi Chen hesitated for a while: "He might freeze to death if you don't go to bed soon."

My hand jerked and pressed another wrong button on the keyboard.

From the window a solitary dark shadow can be seen standing under the streetlight, the posture a strange combination of helplessness and stubbornness.

The street lamp blinked twice and suddenly went out. The dark shadow blended into the night, leaving behind a tiny red dot still unmoving.

I closed the curtains with a heavy heart, and switched off the lights.

The only light remaining in the house is that from the display monitor of the computer.

The red dot was still there after I finished and got ready for bed.

"Brother."

Yi Chen has not fallen asleep, or he could have been roused by me, he stretched out his arms and held me tightly. His body is so warm.

"I was so afraid you would leave with him."

" ...... Silly."

"I have a feeling you will." He was talking like a child.

"...... I will not." I flipped around and hug him back.

Only a few hours later the sun has risen. I woke up early to get breakfast for Yi Chen, my body aching from him pressing down half his body weight on me. Downstairs, the streets were empty, devoid of passerby, leaving only an area under the street lamp covered with countless cigarette butts.

I gazed at the turquoise sky of the city skyline, the winter sun pale and luster.

My eyes felt a familiar sting.

I quickly lowered my head, increasing the pace of my steps towards home.