wow...cindy, no | lgbt+

3| part two

I didn't know Mara was this close with Jord... Girls have it so easy when it comes to boys.  This is why sometimes I wish I was a girl. I mean I used to. Before Jord wrote me the poem. That changes everything.

Having Cindy on my side changes everything. Where's he when I want him around? When I see him again, I think I might kiss him to thank me for having filled that form for me.

I slide my hand into my pocket, touching the folded paper inside it where the delightful words are written. I take a deep breath, stand and start walking towards Mara and Jord. Jord needs to see me here.

My heart sinks when Jord waves good-bye to Mara. He exits the cafeteria before I'm able to get to them. When I finally reach Mara, a sigh marking my defeat, she's already ordering her food.

"Hi," I say, I move to stand beside her.

"Hey, bubble-head," she greets me cheerfully. "Sorry I'm late. I had a few questions to ask Mrs. Geovanni after class." She turns to the dishes showcased in front of her. "What are you getting?" she asks.

"Hmm...noodles?" I say. I almost forgot I'm here to eat. "Mara, I have news...great news," I announce, "about Jord."

She turns to me, giving me a suggestive look. "Oh." Her mouth is a perfect O of ruddy lips between by rosy cheeks. "Lets order fast then. I'm getting excited."

We order our food and get back to our table.

When I show her the poem, Mara can't believe her eyes and the only words she can bring herself to say are "Oh wow," while pushing her blond strands of straightened hair behind her ears. "Oh my god. So, what are you going to do next?"

"What am I going to do next," I repeat the words, unsure. I have no idea about what happens next. And I'm sure Mara can tell. The question plays in my mind during the rest of the break. Biology class, and History class afterward. What I am going to do next?

Jord was supposed to do something, not me. Before Mara asked the question, it seemed that all I need to do was just to wait until Jord and I have our eyes locked and then things would happen naturally. I see how stupid that sounds now.

Jord had already asked me on a date, to which he didn't show up, but he's made it up for me by inviting me to the party they're throwing after the next match of the school's basketball team. And now there's the poem, and what have I done? Nothing.

I'm even more distracted during classes after the break. In a way, it's a Cindy kind of blessing none of the teachers asks me to participate in class.

When the final bell rings it shakes me to the core and I can still feel myself vibrating even after the sound ceases. And even as I walk along the main hall toward the gymnasium. I didn't have a chance to talk to Jord that morning but now this is it.

I'm the last member of the club to get here apparently. I'm getting used to this. Everyone is already gathered in the same circle as last week. Rafael welcomes me with a bashful smile. He's leading the session. 

I sit across Jord. I need to see him. He has a slight smile on his face. I try to look straight to him and appear just as relaxed as him. I want him to set his eyes on mine, so he'd read on the them and understand that I've read his poem and I was ready to take the next step. God, he doesn't even need to ask.

The theme of today's session is Work with The Body. Rafael announces twelve pairs to begin the exercise. It consists of coming up with two lines of poetry inspired by your partners' body after looking them up and down for five seconds, then it's the other's turn. How awkward.

Jord is paired with the girl with the baggy shirt. "Oh," Rafael says after announing the last pair, he looks at me, "your name was not on the list because you were late. So you'll be paired with me."