Johnny Cade & I

~Chapter 10

Sam's PoV-

I got the news today. I still can't believe it. I don't want to. I refuse to...

"Sam, go to bed!" My mother screams at me. She's been mad at me since my birthday, she has no need to hate Johnny. Besides I'm the one who said yes. I realize that I'm staring at the wall with the pictures of me and the Greasers. My brothers hate them but I think they're the best thing in my life. Pulling the frame off the hook, I look into my fiancee's eyes. His beautiful dark brown eyes, the way his hair looks in that hat of his, and remembering the warmth that washed over me whenever he let me wear his jean jacket. I sigh realizing that all of that is gone now. I frown at the ground and carry the picture to my room. Setting it on my desk, I turn off the lights and stare at it in the dark. One night I had stayed in the lot with him, in fact, it was the same day I took that picture. I stole his hat and tossed it into the air until he snatched it while giving me a kiss. I laugh at the old memory, wishing that it had happened only hours ago. 

Basically falling out of the bed, I make my way to the closet grabbing the first things my hands touch. The shirt I pulled on was the shirt I wore the day we watched the sunset. I almost pulled it off, but it reminded too much of him. I could never make a thought of him disappear, it hurts enough already. A few times I almost fell down the stairs on my way to the car. Thankfully, my brothers are still asleep and won't miss their car for a few hours. Driving under the speed limit, I make it there slowly. 

"Sam!" I look up to see Two-Bit standing there. He smiles as he leaps down the steps, I force my lips to form a smile that matches his. "Johnny's doing better." This is new information for me, I would have thought that I would have been informed before now.

"Two-Bit, if this is your way of trying to help, it's doing the opposite." I start to walk past him but his words stop me.

"Just ask Ponyboy. He got the call this morning from Dally. He called the Curtis' from a payphone to tell them the good news." I turn to read his face but he's gone. I look around me, spinning a few times, before heading up the stairs to talk to Pony.

"Ponyboy Curtis, I swear if Two-Bit was lying I'm gonna kill you." Anger fills me, knowing that I've been tricked.

"He wasn't lying, Sam. Dal went up to see him yesterday, and he spoke to the doctors. He might survive." Something keeps telling me that he's lying. He's a liar, I think repeatedly. 

"Well, I've come to get Johnny's jean jacket." I tell him taking it off the hook and walking out the door. Even though the car motor is soft, it still makes me jump a little. I restrain myself from driving to the hospital to see how Johnny is. I just have to believe Ponyboy. Walking into my own home doesn't help keep him off my mind. My mother likes to bring up on how I'm "disgracing" our family name by marring him, ignoring her is harder then you think.

"Disgrace." My mother growls at me from across the room. I continue to walk, as if she was only the wind, to the kitchen to see if anything is actually edible in the house anymore. What I come across, says "no". I take the long way up to my room, instead of walking back through the kitchen I walk through the dining room and then the family room. I skip steps to make the process faster, sadly my foot caught the top step, sending me crashing to the ground. And that's when it hits me. All the things I should have felt more of in the last few weeks have come now, as I lay on the floor. Crawling back to my room, I hide under the bed with a tablet and pen writing down my thoughts. 

Could it be true? Could Johnny Cade survive? I do miss him dearly, but what will happen if he lives? Will he live in pain all of his life? Slowly, I mean, slowly, regain his ability to walk? The latter tells me not. Stories. He used to tell me stories of things he learned or saw. Once he even told me of a story Dally told him! Dallas Winston is a strange young man. But to Johnny, he is his brother. I recall our first sunset. Sure it was long ago but it was the first time I held his hand without him flinching away. I love him. I love Johnny Cade. Why must he die?! Why must --