Best of Me

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Why stay in a relationship when he cheats constantly and never apologise for it? Why would I want a man who would hurt me? Why would I want my children to experience this? Why won't I divorce him?

I don't have the answers to any of those questions. We were so in love then it all came crashing down on one horrific night. We were coming home from the club and I caught Shawn and Rihanna grinding on each other as I went to the bathroom and when we got home I confronted him and he admitted he cheated then that's when the name calling happened. Then it lead to him putting his hands on me when he promised he would never hurt me emotionally, physically and mentally.

Now here I am 34 years old emotionally and physically scarred trying to get away from my abusive and cheating husband, but I'm scared of him and what he might do. I have to protect me and my daughter one way or another and in the end I won't be in any harm any more. Nor would my sons and daughter. Corey, Cain and Blue Ivy Carter. Blue is 4, Corey is 3 years old and Cain is 7 months old.

My name is Beyonce Giselle Knowles-Carter and I am married to rapper Shawn Corey Carter who is 45 years old. We met when I was 16 and I made my first music video for my girls group Destiny's Child. We didn't talk as much until the 2001 Grammy's. We exchanged numbers and talked on the phone for I think a year and a half to make it official between us. During those years we were so happy, like I have never loved someone as much as I loved him.

Shawn was and still is my everything. He was my first love, first lover, first person to ever care and listen when I really needed it besides my mom and girls. He's my husband and the father to my kids, I can't just leave him that easily. Even if I tried he'll do something that'll make me fall all in love with him again just for it to be a scam and he does the same thing in a couple more days.

He's from Brooklyn,NY and I'm from Houston,TX. It was me and him against the world and I never doubted that until he signed Rihanna to his record label and that's when all of our started. He would come home late from work with hickies on his neck and lipstick stains on his collar. It got to the point when I found them fucking in my bed. That's when I left him for the first time and I was some what happy if you could say that, but my single life didn't last as long as I wanted it to.

I was 2 months into being single and he.... you know that's a different story, but when I forgave him all he did was do the same shit and I couldn't leave him and I'm scared to leave him now, but we are on a verge of divorcing. I could list his pros and cons, and I guarantee that his pros will make his cons look like shit.

That still doesn't wanna make me wanna stay with him. I'm no longer happy in our relationship and I know he isn't either or he wouldn't cheat on me like he does now. Instead he leaves me alone with three kids to take care of.

So yeah this is where I start my story. This is a Beyonce and Jay Z story not jayoncé, because in all honesty. I don't think there is gonna be any Jayoncé any more.