Best of Me

TWO

"Would you like to press charges ma'am?" I just stared at the wall not responding to the officers. "Mrs. Carter?" No response. As much as I would love to put Shawn back in jail I don't want my kids visiting their daddy from behind a glass wall. "May I see my kids?" The officer huffed and nodded his head leaving the room.

Well Shawn knocked me out and gave me a broken jaw. My mouth hurts like crazy and these policemen walking in and out asking me questions isn't so big of a help either. "Mommy!" I heard Blue yell as she ran in the room.

"Hey babe. Where is Corey and Cain?" Before she could say anything Michael came walking in with both sleeping boys in his arms. I smiled at him and helped Blue into the bed with me. "Mommy your jaw okay?" I smiled and nodded.

"Yeah baby mommy's jaw is okay." Michael put the boys on the beds across from mine and walked over to me. "Hey Bey how you feeling?" He sat down beside the bed. "I'm good. How you feeling?"

"Oh I'm fine. Did you press charges?" I looked down and kept messing with Blue's shoes. "Why would you not press charges?" I signed and scratched my head. "I don't want the boys or Blue to visit their daddy behind a glass window." Mike signed and took my hand in his.

"Bey I know you love him, but do what's right for your kids. They don't need to be around this environment. I love you and the kids they are like my little nieces and nephews. You are like my sister I don't want you getting hurt any more." He stood up and kissed my forehead.

"Bye Bey I will be back later." I nodded and he walked out of the room. I sighed and looked down at my beautiful princess. "I missed you baby girl." I squeezed her tight as she giggled.

"I missed you too mommy. Uncle Drake came mommy!" She shared with me smiling. "He did? What did he say?" Blue was about to speak, but I heard Corey start to move around. "Blue baby hold that thought."

I slowly moved out of the bed and went to pick Corey up. When I did his big bright hazel eyes popped open and he smiled at me. "Mommy!" He reached up and hugged my neck as we walked back over to my bed. "I missed you mommy." He cried into my neck.

"Aww I missed you too babe. Was you good for uncle Mike?" He nodded and layed in my lap starting to fall back asleep. "Mommy uncle Drake called daddy a bad word and he said he gonna visit him in the bad place mommy." I nodded and layed back some.

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"CARTER VISITOR!" The guard yelled as he opened the cell. I got out of bed and he handcuffed me then escorted me to the visitation area. I sat down and stared straight at the bitch nigga in front of me. Drake.

"What you want man?" I said irritated. "You know you broke Bey's jaw?" My whole mood softened and I looked down. Man fuck me bro for real. "Is she alright?" I asked with my head still down.

"I haven't seen her yet, but I seen the kids." I looked up at him angry. "Why the fuck are you around my kids?" He laughed and crossed his legs. "Well YOUR kids needed a fatherly figure in their life so I went and saw them with Mike. Oh and I heard you hit her cause she didn't tell you who Mike was."

"Was that nigga fucking my wife?!?" He laughed again which was starting to agitate me again. "Nigga far from it. He is engaged and haply in love, but not with Bey." I huffed and dug my nails deeper into my knees punishing myself.

"Well I'm out. I'm gonna go visit your wife. You know the woman your supposed to protect through thick and thin, and be loyal to? Yeah her. I hope she press charges on yo bitch ass." He got out of his seat. "Oh and yeah be expecting papers from Bey pretty soon." He smirked and walked off.

The officer came back and escorted me to my cell. Yeah I know I'm a jackass for laying my hands on my wife. I love Bey I really do. If I didn't I would've divorced her by now. I refuse to let that woman go.

I know I'm not the best husband in the world, but I need her. Yeah that's what most abusive husbands say, but when I say it I mean it.

Why do I cheat on her? I don't know, it's just I'm 45 years old and I have been in a relationship for 9+ years and I used to fuck girls here and there, but not doing that over a long course of time changes you.

As soon as I fucked Rihanna I wanted to experience other girls I was sexually attracted to other than my wife and I did. I did it so much that sadly Blue wasn't my first child. I got some girl pregnant and she had the baby, but the baby didn't survive when they momma gave birth.

Why do you drink your problems away? Drinking makes me forget all about my problems. Smoking weed, fucking bitches and getting drunk makes me forget about what I have to face the next morning. It makes me feel different in a way I can't describe.

Do I love my kids? Absolutely, I most definitely love my kids more than anything in this world. It's not having a father that makes me distance myself away from my kids. I wanna be a great example of a man for my sons and daughter, but I'm not any more. My own daughter is scared of me, my youngest son barely even knows me, and my middle child doesn't like me.

Why do you hit your wife? Why do I hit my wife? That is a question I can and can't answer. It's just when we get into an argument or disagreement I turn into another man. Something changed me, I used to be the cat that would never lay his hands on any female, but now I'm treating hoes better than the love of life aka my beautiful wife.

Will you change? If Beyonce tried to divorce me I'll do anything in my power to change for her and my kids. I don't wanna lose her or my family. I wanna be Bonnie and Clyde again. I wanna change for me. I wanna be the man my father wasn't, but sadly I have his genes. He will always live in me. He's the devil inside of me.