Paranormal!  spam ✓

 things the 126 has said at one point

( things the 126 has said or will say at one point or another, this is some crackhead stuff )

"Do you ever wonder how you'll die?" Jo asked, looking around the table of her teammates. "Like, we all think we'll go out in a blazing fire, but what if I get taken out by a flying fish or something lame?"

Judd stared back at and tilted his head, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Mateo looks slightly concerned, but his jaw is slack and his eyebrows are furrowed together. "What if Buttercup lays on my face in the middle of the night and suffocates me while we're all sleeping?"

"You broke him." TK laughed.

"You're all high." Owen shrugged as he sipped on his smoothie.

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"Hey, Marjan, will you marry me?" Joanne shouted across the room.

Marjan glanced over to the other woman, an eyebrow quirked in question, but she was amused. "Aren't you straight, Diaz?"

"Straighter than the pole I dance on," she confirmed, and she shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. "But I need a date to take home so my family doesn't force me to be a nun. I'd take Judd, but he's married, and I think my family would rather me be gay than bring home a gringo after my brother's failed marriage."

Marjan opened her mouth, with the intent to say something, but she failed. She only laughed and shook her head, "Sorry, Diaz."

"Paul!" Joanne shouted with a whiny voice as she spun around.

TK looked to Marjan, horribly confused. "She dances on a pole?"

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"Do you ever get the craving for physical affection?" TK asked out loud, his relationship with Carlos now out to the open.

Without looking up from her phone, Joanne answered. "No. I'm emotionless robot now."

Paul rolled his eyes and scoffed, "She's lying, for one, because she forces me to cuddle during movie nights. Two, it's normal, don't worry."

Judd glanced over, his eyes narrowed at Paul and Joanne, his glance switching between the two. "You guys are just friends."

"Your point?" Jo sighed, again, refusing to look up.

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"I don't even like coffee, but the other night, I made coffee with Bang instead of water." Jo grinned as she practically bounced up and down on her feet. "I can see sound, and taste colors."

Owen looked at her, his expression twisted into one of horror. "How the hell are you alive?"

Judd answered his question for her, "She's hanging on by a thread."

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"Kids are angels."

"Kids are demons," Joanne retorted to her captain, and she tilted her head. "Well, all kids are demons except my nephew. He's the cutest."

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Joanne looked slightly offended, "You can't call me stupid just because I dropped out of college!"

Judd just looks at her, "Jo, can you spell Michigan?"

"No." She glared at him with narrowed eyes.

( spoiler: she really can )

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"Hey, Mateo, wanna take over the government?"

Everyone looks to Joanne, slightly worried. Judd just looks amused, because he's used to this. But Mateo, oh god, the poor kid is terrified.

"I — I can't take over the government!" His eyebrows come together and he glances around, like FBI agents are waiting for him. He coughs, then glances to Joanne. "They'll send me back."

"Diaz, stop scaring probie."

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"I once had a date ask me if I did crack," Joanne confessed one night over when they discussed their worst relationships.

Paul hummed as he glanced at the woman in front of him. "I wonder what gave them that impression."

Everyone laughed, but Joanne dropped her fork and flipped Paul off.

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"I just want somebody to love me," Joanne pouted.

Judd sighed, "Good luck, man."

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( honestly, I'm not sure what kinda crack I'm on, but really, I could just be tired too. but y'all see some of this in Pslams, do not be surprised. Jo secretly radiates crackhead energy. )