Shit Happens - Lessons learned so you don't have to

EPILOGUE: DON'T MISS OLD KANYE

(God we hope that holds up in, like, a decade or two from now)

Looking back on what we've written, we probably didn't earn the previous chapter. We probably didn't earn this chapter either, but we're here. We're tired. We're spent. This has been a hard road for us to travel because we've had to expose our own fallacies. But we're going to give you this one last thing, this final chapter in this book. Here's where everything gets wrapped up in a perfect bow and we all walk away changed from the experience of reading everything that's come before.

Right, that's trite bullshit and we are, if nothing else, peddlers of untrite bullshit, or at least we try to be.

Let's talk about the journey we've been on together. It's been a bit of a mess, hasn't it? Some parts pure idiocy, other parts bordering on poignant. That's life, though, isn't it? Just one big rollercoaster of thrilling climbs and terrifying drops. And you, like us, are probably more used to those seemingly endless drops that seem to never actually rise again. We hope, though, that by reading through this little missive, you've come to realize that there are rises to counteract the falls. They may not equal the amplitude of the drops, but they are there. And they can occur more frequently once you become cognizant of the choices you're making that are keeping you spiraling down. It's not easy. If there's one thing to take away from all ... all this ... (imagine us waving our hands to encompass every page in this book), it's that it is not fucking easy to change your patterns and habits, especially when they do provide a morbid adrenaline rush. What should also be apparent is that we still haven't fully kicked the habit ourselves. We haven't kicked it, and many times we seek it out. Because it is familiar. Because we, too, still occasionally believe it's what we deserve.

So this entire pamphlet we've created has been as much for us as it has been for you. Sometimes, it's been more for us than for you, because sometimes we made exactly the mistake we wrote about shortly before we wrote about it. Or while we were making the mistake. Or before we made the mistake and still went through with it. Whatever, we're still human and fallible. The point is, none of this has been easy for you or for us, and we thank you for taking this batshit insane trip with us. We hope it helped. We hope you found some use in it. Most importantly we hope it made sense, because lord knows there are times where we were working through some hazy, drugged-out stream of consciousness shit that possibly only just held together as coherent thoughts and not one long run-on sentence that fizzled into nonsense like what just happened here, and please note again that we are still learning how to be different ourselves.

And that's actually a word we want to focus on. Different. Because fuck anyone who tries to tell you to be better. Fuck them and their judgemental single-mindedness. As if there is some societal norm for what is considered a better human being. Motherfuckers need to live a goddamned life instead of shoving their narrow-minded, egocentric, myopic vision of what fully-formed human interaction should be. No, we would never be so callous as to say you need to be better. We just hope what we've written helps make you different from who you were before, someone who is more at peace with themselves. More content with the life they're living. More willing to ask for what they want for themselves. More willing to give themselves what they want deserve. Because you do deserve more. If there's one message we'll preach again and again, it is that you deserve more. You deserve to live a healthy life free of pain and suffering, especially the pain and suffering you cause yourself, or allow to be given to you.

The path you're on doesn't have to remain the path you're on. You have the ability to change directions and fuck anyone who tries to tell you differently, tries to tell you no. Don't be like our good friend Wilbur, whom we promised not to name, and is, by all accounts, an egregious and callow human being. His belief is that it is the fuck ups around him that force him to be a fuck up. Well to our good friend Wilbur we say a hearty go fuck yourself because we refuse to be the fuck ups that validate your shitty life, nor do we allow you to pull us down to your level. You are in charge of what your next move is, you are in control of your journey.

Don't get us wrong, we're not painting this entire experience as some rainbow-filled, poppy-fielded stroll. No, the journey of change is long and arduous and filled with pain and self-doubt and so much fucking hurt and so much fucking letting go of people and places and things that you just want to curl up and cry every goddamn night of your life. But change will come and you will be better for it, we promise.

And with that promise, we ask just one thing. While on this journey, don't miss who you were. It may feel easy to slip back into old habits. It may feel safe to be who you were. Don't do it. Don't be the person you were before this moment, because that person is only holding you back. That person, like the other demons sitting at that bar, brings nothing but sorrow. You've started to taste what it could be like on the other side, so hold fast to that. Hold fast to the brighter future you have. Change is scary, we know, but there can be no healing without change. And we support change. We embrace change. We love change in all its complex and painful ways.

So that's it. That's all we've got. No more stories to tell, no more words of sagacious wisdom to bestow. We've given you the best tools we ourselves have to try and bring balance and peace. Now it's up to you to decide what your next move is. We can't wait to see what you do next.

We're proud of you.