Sam and Colby: The Penitentiary

17

                "Wait, let me grab a shirt," he said.

                "Absolutely not, that will be my source of entertainment if whatever Sam has to say is boring," I said.

                "I feel objectified," he said.

                "Feel hot instead," I countered, pulling him down the stairs behind me.

                "You're the hot one here, not me," Colby said. He yanked my arm back toward him and picked me up, slinging me over his shoulder.

                "Baaabe, put me downnnn," I whined.

                "No. And I was right, I can see your butt," he said.

                "Just don't look and there won't be a problem!" I argued.

                "Jesus Christ, you two sure didn't waste any time," said Corey as Colby carried me into the living room.

                "With what?" I asked. Colby set me down on the couch next to Jake, then sat on the other side of me.

                "Being all... I don't know. Being all you and couple-y," said Jake.

                "What a beautifully articulated description," I said.

                "Oh my lord, hush," Sam chuckled. "Okay, so how would you guys feel about a new series? It's been, like, seven months and I found this place I really want to go to."

                "Where at?" asked Jake.

                "Tennessee," I said, before immediately clapping my hand over my mouth. "Oopsie," I said through my hand.

                "Son of a bitch, this is what you were referencing last night, isn't it?" Colby asked.

                "I didn't know it was a secret! And I only know the state, not where we're going," I replied.

                "Okay, well, it's the Brushy Mountain State Penitentiary," said Sam.

                "Sounds like penis titty. I'm in," said Jake.

                "It doesn't even sound like that," said Corey. "I'm in too, though. I want to do something cool again."

                "Obviously I'm in," I said. Colby bit his lip and looked back and forth between me and Sam.

                "Are...you guys sure?" Colby asked.

                "Yeah, why?" asked Sam.

                "Uh, you may have forgotten, but one of you almost bled out on the hood of a serial killer's car and the other one of you got gutted alive," said Corey.

                "Okay, I didn't literally get gutted," I said.

                "Mmm," Sam said, cocking his head to the side.

                "Okay, fine. Whatever. But yes, Colby. I'm sure," I said.

                "I am too, bro. That was back in October, anyway. We're fully recovered," said Sam.

                "Are you positive?" asked Colby.

                "Oh my god. Yes, babe. I'm sure," I said. Colby sighed.

                "Okay, then yeah. I'm in," he said.

                "Wait, really?" Sam asked, his face lighting up.

                "Yeah," Colby said shortly. I looked over at him. Was something bothering him?

                "Babe, it's okay. I promise we're alright from last time," I said.

                "I'm aware. I heard you," he said. "I'm going to go take a shower."

                He got up off the couch and quickly walked away before any of us could respond.

                "I—did I do something?" I asked.

                "I don't think so, did I?" asked Sam.

                "Nah," said Jake.

                "I think he's just worried about you guys," said Corey.

                "He seems to be pretty certain that he heard us," I said.

                "It's whatever. He'll get over it soon enough," said Sam, dismissing it.

                "Yeah...," I said. That wasn't it, though. Something else was bothering him and I had a feeling it had to do with me.

                "So when do we leave?" asked Jake.

                "Three weeks. I wanted to buy the tickets a little further out this time in case I wanted to refund them. You know, because I really wasn't sure if you guys would be down to go on another trip again," said Sam.

                "Hey man. This is what we do," said Jake.

                "This and the prank wars," said Corey.

                "Oh, no," I muttered. I'd really been hoping they wouldn't bring that up in this new house, and I hadn't heard anything about it yet. Until now.

                "You know, we do have another couple weeks before we leave...," Sam trailed off, smiling with the other guys.

                "No. No way. Absolutely not," I said.

                "What if we did teams? Like prank wars but couple style," said Jake.

                "No," I said again.

                "Good thing we don't ask about prank wars," Corey said.

                "Huh?" I ask.

                "They just happen. One prank induces a revenge prank and then more people get involved until it's one big mess," said Jake.

                "Remember when I told you at the hotel when we went to the asylum that I would absolutely obliterate you if you ever tried to prank me?" I asked.

                "Yes," said Corey.

                "I do too, but I'm now willing to test that theory," said Jake.

                "Same, actually. We're not fucking terrified of you anymore," said Corey.

                "Sam! I wasn't actually that scary, was I?" I asked.

                "Scary? No, not at all. But incredibly intimidating and someone I wanted to stay on the good side of? Absolutely," said Sam.

                "Well then. I guess I'll have to find a way to reinforce my intimidation factor," I replied.