LOCKDOWN

Part 6 - Confrontation

Camila looked at the mess in the pan in dismay. Seriously, how could a person not be able to cook from a just-add-water pancake mix? She felt him before he even touched her, sliding his hands around her waist, and peering over her shoulder.

"Um.....what's for breakfast?"

She looked at the box again.

"Supposed to be pancakes." She mumbled.

"Oh....."

She looked up at him.

"Oh what?"

"I have to tell you something...."

Her heart leapt into her throat. Oh my God, what was it? Her mind went wild with different things it could be.

"I'm gluten intolerant," he said apologetically.

She stared at him for a moment then burst out laughing, turning around and flinging her arms around his neck.

"You dork!"

"I told you things had changed."

"I know, it was a long year."

"Tell me about it."

"The tour must have been amazing."

"It was. It was incredible."

She pondered over her next words.

"I came to see you, in Oakland. And Toronto."

"I know."

She looked at him in shock. She had literally snuck into both and managed to avoid getting her photo taken by fans or photographers.

"How did you know? Nobody knew!"

He tucked a long strand of hair behind her ear, remembering Toronto. He had been warming up backstage when Connor had found him.

"Hey dude, I was taking some crowd footage, and there's something you should see."

He held out the camera and put it on playback. Shawn had watched the shots of the crowd, mostly young girls, and then Connor paused it. He had felt his heart stop. He took the camera from Connor and peered at the screen. It was Camila. He'd know her profile anywhere. She was alone, her hair falling around her face, hiding inside a hoodie. He rewound a couple of times til he worked out where in the crowd she was located.

"Thanks man," he said quietly, handing the camera back. It had been hard to get his focus back but in the end, knowing she was there, that she cared enough to come, had brought out the best performance in him he'd ever done. When he sang the songs he had written for her, he had looked toward where she had been. He couldn't tell if she was still there, but he hoped she was. He waited backstage, not surprised when she didn't turn up, but definitely disappointed.

"I missed you that night. And at my twenty-first birthday."

He saw her eyes fill with tears. "That night, I was at home, in Miami. I lay in bed and sang happy birthday to you." She hadn't even tweeted a happy birthday. He had kept refreshing her stories all day on Instagram. Nothing. He had got totally trashed at his party, had an argument with Brian and finished the night crying and throwing up in the hotel bathroom with some girl he couldn't remember even meeting. It had not been his finest hour.

"I missed congratulating you on the Latin Grammy wins," he said. He bent and kissed her sweetly. "Congratulations!"

She sighed, a deep shuddering sigh, and snuggled into his chest. He closed his eyes and rested his chin on her head. What on earth was that smell? He opened his eyes to see smoke pouring from the pan on the stove behind Camila. He leaned over, pushing her to one side, and turned off the burner, picking the pan up and throwing it into the sink where it sizzled and spat. Something lumpy and black was well and truly stuck to the pan.

"Feel like a banana?" he said with a smile.

She hiccupped and then began to laugh and he joined in.

There were a lot of things that he had to tell her, but there were a lot of things he could never say. He couldn't tell her how he stalked her on social media, under another account. How many times he had watched her interviews and performances on YouTube. He definitely couldn't tell her how many nights he had sat in his car outside her house in LA, watching Matthew's car come and go. He couldn't tell her about the conversation he'd had with Matt two days after he had told her he loved her either.

MAY 2019

He had been pretty shocked to open the door and find the older man there.

"Can I come in?" Well at least the guy wasn't throwing punches. Yet.

Surely Camila hadn't told him about the almost-kiss, and the confession.....?

"Sure," Shawn decided to act cool, as if the guy knew nothing. "Can I get you something to drink? Soda? Juice? Water? Coffee?"

Matt waved them away, irritation plain on his face.

"I won't be here long mate," he said. He stood with legs apart. He was trying to intimidate Shawn. He often mentioned Shawn's age, obviously trying to assert dominance. Shawn drew himself up to his full height. He was a good two inches taller than the other guy, a bit more with his heeled boots, and all that working out meant he won on the fit and muscular side as well. Plus, he was a successful artist, had hundreds of thousands of fans, a good bit of money in the bank, he didn't need to feel inferior to this guy. But Hussey had one thing that Shawn wanted more than anything. Camila.

"I came to tell you to stay away from her."

"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Listen," Matt gritted his teeth and pointed a finger at Shawn's chest. "I don't know what happened yesterday, but she's a mess, and it's got something to do with you. All she will tell me is she wants nothing to do with you anymore, so stay the fuck away, right?"

Shawn nodded. "I only want her to be happy."

"Well, that's something we can both agree on, because so do I."

"Have you asked her what actually makes her happy?" He didn't know why he was goading the older guy, but something about Matt had always irritated him, and he had always stayed civil for Camila's sake, but he had nothing to lose now. "Do you actually care about her career?"

"There is more to life than her career."

"What, you going to make an honest woman of her, put her up in your cottage outside of London looking after your bunch of kids? You do know that is never going to be enough for Camila, right? She is an artist, a performer, she needsto create, to be on stage. She's not going to give it up for anyone, least of all you."

"You don't know her like you think you do, Mendes." Matt said quietly. "There's some things that are more important than adoring fans and putting out records. Family, love, and yes, kids."

Shawn could feel his anger like a hot ball of swirling bile in his gut. He knew that Camila wanted all those things, but she wanted a lot more than that, she neededmore than that. And he couldn't see why she couldn't have everything she wanted.

"Ask her," he said calmly. "Ask her what she wants, go on."

He saw the uncertainty flash through Matt's eyes. Good. He stepped forward so he loomed over the guy.

"I know her better than you do, I always have."

They both stood there, staring at each other. Matthew turned away first, walking out the door without looking back.

Shawn heard a couple of months later that they had broken up. He had hoped she'd contact him, but she never did. Those few moments of victory he held over Matt become hollow when he realised that in the end, neither of them had won.