Remembering July

Fourteen: July 9-16, 14

[Edited]

Listen to the high pitched version of Heaven by Dj Sammy. Tears fell.

Michael

My eyes widened, and I took a double take. I begin to sob, "CALUM!!"

He comes running in, his eyes falling on Luke and then pulling his phone out calling 911. Ashton rushes up, confusion every inch of his face.

"Whats going on?" He asks, and then his eyes land on Luke. He pushes past me, falling next to Luke and pulling him into his lap. He began to rock, "L-Lukey please...."

Tears fell onto his paled cheeks, and I could just tell how cold he was. "The ambulance is on their way," Calum says, his voice cracking.

"I tried to stay strong," I sobbed, the officer nodding and rubbing my arm.

"Its okay sir," she tells me. "I know how it feels to loose a friend from suicide..."

I cut her off by hiccupping.

"Mike?" Mikey asked, and I turn to her. She looked concerned, her blue eyes sad. I get up, pulling her into a hug, crying into her shoulder.

She cooed, "its alright Mike. Let it out."

I could hear the hurt in her voice when she spoke. And it broke me even more.

I don't understand suicide. I know it takes the pain away from themselves, but it just gives the pain to someone else.

"Michael?" Ash and Cal came out of seperate rooms, and they joined the hug. Suddenly, Donnie came into the hug. He passed the pain to everyone around him. It didn't solve anything.

-

(Lukes Birthday)

His mum decided to bury him on his birthday, and he was going to be buried by his Grandparents.

All of us were suppose to give speaches, but I couldnt find a way to do it without breaking down. Mikey comforted me, rubbing my back whenever I needed it, what would I do without her?

"Are you ready?" She asks, walking into my room. She was in a little black dress, and her all black chucks. I nod sadly, adjusting Luke's 'I Dont Trust Me Either' shirt. I remember when we made a deal over this.

"If one of us dies before the other, you wear their favorite shirt," he told me, throwing his legs across me. "So you'll wear my 'I Don't Trust Me Either' shirt and a red flannel."

I sniffle, pulling on a red flannel and taking Mikey's hand. She lead me down to the car, "Michael I know you miss him," she tells me. "But hes not suffering now. You have to put that into your mind."

I nod, "I know. I just miss him."

And I broke down again, and I wasn't even at the church.

-

The church was packed, full of people from our school and also neighbors. People were crying, and holding onto each other. It broke my heart to see this.

I notice the black casket, and the front part was open. I pat Mikey's hand, standing from my seat and walking over to it. Everyone stopped talking, and I just looked down at him.

"Your quiff isn't the way you like it Lukey," I tear up, fixing it the way he taught me one time. "Lukey can you stop playing this joke now?"

Everyone gasped, and I just stared down at him. "Lukey wake up," I touch his face. "Please wake up."

Someone grabs me and I turn to cry into their chest. "I want Lukey back!"

"Shhhh," Mikey rubbed my back. "Remember what I said?"

I nod, looking up at her through glossy eyes.

"He is playing guitar for Kurt now," she sent a warm, but sad, smile. "I promise he is happy with Kurt, he is making him happy."

I nod, pulling her into a tight hug. "I love you, and I dont want to see you hurt Mikey."

I chuckle, kissing the top of her head. "I love you too."

"Mike," Liz touched my shoulder. "Would you like to give a speach?"

I nod, and Mikey lets me go walking away giving me a reasuring nod. I step up to the podium, "Uh.. I'm Michael. Ive known Luke for awhile, and he was one of my bestfriends. Even though we hated each other, for whatever that stupid messed up reason it was, we laughed about it." I let out a breath. "I remember the first day we met. He was running to class, and accidentally bumped into me. All of his stuff fell out of his arms, and I felt so bad for him. I helped him with his stuff, and then girls happened." The people laughed slightly, and I shook my head. "He told me to be strong, constantly. And, now he was a hypocrite. He told me to be strong, even though he couldnt do it himself. But, we need to be strong. Not for our sakes," I look at him. "But for Lukes." I look at him casket one more time, "muke af."

I sniffle, stepping down from the stage as everyone else took their turns. Mikey rubbed my back, "you did great darling."