An Accidental Embrace

1 | The Accident

Trigger Warning: Themes of Child Loss.

She didn't see the car coming she didn't see the car coming she didn't see the car coming...

The drive to Adana's Meridian Hospital would be the most difficult journeys of his life to date, Neco was hit with the realization as he sped his way through the traffic. His face and posture were composed as always, but he was finding it increasingly difficult to stifle the storm brewing inside of him. Sibel had tried to dodge the topic from Neco during their phone call in the morning, but he knew his sister well enough to ignore the alarm in her voice.

Fatos had been in an accident. She didn't see the car coming. What did that mean? The understanding that she had been walking when the car hit her had drained the blood from Neco's face. Later, he didn't remember the number of people he'd dodged and pushed out of his way at the hospital to get a glimpse of Fatos in the critical care unit.

A large glass window now separated them.

If one looked across the hallway, Neco stood still, his tall silhouette resembling that of a statue, chiseled to perfection, even with all the layers of clothing on top. Except his signature leather-clad shoulders were slouched, tired and tense-at the same time. Neco's gaze was settled on her, the bright emerald of her eyes was now hidden and her wilderness absent, as she lay deeply sedated from the drugs. The thought of her crazy-angry-fearless self that rarely failed to deliver the perfect comebacks to him made him smile, a little sadly this time. It faltered as quickly as it came. His gaze shifted to the web of IVs that tucked harshly at her delicate arms.

The emotional havoc of seeing Fatos in this condition was doing something equally catastrophic to Neco's physical state. He was both hot and cold at the same time. The stomach churned, and his heart sank further with each new development in the evening.

The sound of footsteps brought Neco back to his senses and he looked up to see Affet walking in the direction of Fatos' room. A doctor accompanied her. He handed her a file of medical reports and began to speak in a low voice so as to keep the conversation confidential. The fact that he stood five feet away wasn't really going to maintain patient confidentiality. Neco rolled his eyes at the workings of the hospital.

"As we informed you earlier, we have the copies of the ultrasound results confirming the miscarriage as a result of the injuries to the abdominal area from the accident." Like many ER docs, this one also was blunt and quick, despite his efforts at empathy.

"You're lucky she walked away from a hit-and-run accident with a few lacerations here and there, and no head injury. There is some bruising on the ribs, no fractures thankfully. But unfortunately a pregnancy this early in stage could not withstand the injuries from the type of accident she was involved in. We have included the report on the D&C procedure that our OBGYN performed this morning, along with the at-home care recommendations after her discharge in a week or so. I'll check back during my rounds at the midnight shift." The doctor patted Affet on the shoulder before returning to the hallway to meet his next patient.

Neco let his eyes shut for a second to absorb the news. His mind frazzled, and a lump formed in his throat.

Miscarriage. Miscarriage.

How to mourn a loss of life that was not his, that he did not create, that he did not know?

But anything by association to Fatos was also his. Even if it meant caring for a child that was not his. Even if this very fact asked for a psychological evaluation. "You really are sick," Fatos had said in the building just days ago, her eyes were wide and bright, confused as she had tilted her head up high to meet his gaze.