꧁༒𝒯𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊༒꧂ ~𝓜𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓪𝓶𝓪

🌸 Chapter 22 🌸

Surprise, I updated.

<Mirio>

After a week of therapy and regular hospital visits I was incorporated back into the hero course with little hitch. After the big three took such a hit I was welcomed back with open arms but despite all the celebration and tears shed I couldn't shake the side glances and hushed whispers as I passed through the corridors.

In society's view I was never gone, and all aspects of my outburst in court and my refusal to come to school had been kept very hush-hush. Tamaki's return, on the other hand, had been plastered across almost every screen and billboard in Japan. Theories of his disappearance surged the city like a plague. Some were just glad to get their long-lost hero back, others conspired that his hero status was a hoax and that behind that shy, nervous demeanour lay a villain, but most felt that this was proof that his capability's lacked in the field and that he wasn't suited for this line of work. All of which was, of course, bullshit. Without any hard cold evidence the public turned to each other for the truth and thus gossip and fake news spread like wildfire.

With Tamaki unconscious and the hero commission's radio silence, society was left to simmer in their fallacious gossip until it soured and morphed into the distasteful rumours that would undoubtedly taint his name in society's eyes. I could feel the warm irritancy nibbling away at me and only now after all this chaos could I finally take a step back and realise how thin my patience had grown, how much all this hurt and confusion affected me, that at least being the most prominent emotional aftermath following the incident. If the hero commission had stepped in maybe things would be different. If society didn't jump to irrational conclusions maybe things would be different. If villains realised they had nothing to gain from hurting others maybe things would be different, and maybe, just maybe, if I had stepped in sooner instead of wallowing in self-pity Tamaki wouldn't be in a coma, torn and mangled, held together by tubes and stitches. Maybe that's what kept me from visiting him for so long, that long oppressed guilt surfacing as the chaotic episode calmed and my emotions and thoughts became clear. However there is only so long you can ward of that malignant guilt festering within you and my time was up, which was most likely the reason why I found myself pacing through porcelain corridors aligned with hygiene posters and dentistry leaflets. Nurses scurried past in a hurry, some halting to great me, and others to inform me in a passive aggressive rant to go in or go home. Hell, I'd been there so long the coral sprinkled lilies I was clutching had drooped, or maybe that was my nervous grip suffocating the poor things.

Would he be awake? If he was what would I even say? 'Hey Tamaki! sorry I didn't save you sooner, I mean it's not like you're a damsel in distress or anything but you were half dead when I found you and clinging to your gangrenous leg like it was your lifeline despite it being the reason why you've been in a coma for the past few weeks but it's not like I'd know because I haven't visited you this whole time because I was to pussy to face you or my guilt or maybe that's the same thing no-' I think this is why I needed therapy.

For the hundredth time in my life I found myself questioning my past choices and decisions. Most people assumed because I was a hero that fears and anxieties were feelings I wasn't capable of experiencing and although my facade is usually bubbly and positive that doesn't make me an exception to doubts and moments of weakness. I wouldn't let this time be a moment of weakness.

My stomach entwining itself into tight knots. I opened the door, light erupting from cracks in  the laced curtains concealing the windows. My eyes trained to Tamaki's body laying peacefully and unmoving in the hospital bed, lulled to 'sleep' by the audible beat of his heart on a monitor. I felt a twang inside my chest, not because he was in a coma but because of the guilt I felt as relief flooded my system. I knew it was wrong to feel as such, but after all the heartache I was to tired to fein sadness.

However, a prick of irritation flashed through me as my eyes flickered to Hadou, or more specifically her hand wrapped around his, her cherry pink lips placed against his pale hand. She must have noticed my troubled look as she instantly left his side, her bubblegum hair bouncing with her step. "What's wrong?" She asked, one perfect eyebrow instinctively raised. Although she was incorporated back into the school a few days after me her  mental state had obviously improved drastically. Her, though still dampened, cheery tone proved this.

"Nothing" I lied through my teeth, unlike the old me I felt no stab of regret. She pushed out her bottom lip, not buying it "Don't lie to me, Mirio Togata-"

"Is he still in a coma?" I intervened, knowing the prior conversation would lead us nowhere.

She glanced back at Tamaki briefly and let her false pout slip "No, he woke up earlier".

I nodded stiffly, still feeling the conflicting burn of emotion. A silence settled between us as equally uncomfortable as it was unusual, there was always something to be said or laughter to have but currently it seemed neither of us had the energy for either. I had never really took the time to wonder how this whole situation may have affected her, I was just so preoccupied but, then again, maybe that's just an excuse. I hadn't made time to even speak to Hadou, my best friend. I had spent my time mourning over Tamaki's disappearance meanwhile she had to take on the burden of loosing both her best friends in the span of a few months, give or take.

"How do you feel?" I felt pretty pathetic as those words parted from my lips, there was no way to make up for the pain I had inevitably caused her but these words would be a start.

Her eyes rolled to the side, giving me a curious glance, fuelled by the slight cock of her head, reminding me much of a puppy. She slid down the side of the hospital bed, her pleated skirt splaying across the floor as she searched for an answer, seemingly to no avail as she soon replied "I don't... really know". Her voice was void of the cheery attitude leaving it flat.

The silence insued once again and I made no move to break it, there was so much to be said, so much I was not bothered to say.

"Do you..." her words were soft and mumbled, getting quieter with each passing word "do you still love him?" I looked at her dead in the eyes but her pupils skimmed past my gaze, instead focusing on the section of hair she had coiled round her slender index finger. "Of course, that's never going to change."

A frown weaselled it's way back into her pretty face and her bubblegum lips parted, as if to speak, but despite my hesitation I beat her to it. "Do you?"

She finally met my stern gaze, her matching cerulean eyes glazed over with shame. I watched her cautiously as she tugged harder on the coil of her poor baby blue hair. She remained quiet leaving the question hanging in the air although in truth there was no need for her to say it, the answer was crystal clear. Despite the overwhelming shame radiating from her in toxic waves I wanted to hear it from her, I wanted her to admit it. "Hadou" I said a little more harshly, "Do you love him?"

She was beginning to get visibly agitated, pulling so hard on the individual folicals of hair that they were beginning to pile up on the floor. "I do, is that a problem?" It was though a switch was flipped and her demeanour went from one of shame to that of venom. It was all a little to defensive.

"I thought you 'abide under strict girl code' " so much for making things up to her. Now unflinching under my hardened gaze she barked back an aggressive "I do", she hesitated, "but you can't expect me to ignore my own feelings".

"You just broke your own rule, Hadou", I snapped back, coming to the end of my patience.

"I didn't-".

"You kissed him!" I yelled. By this point it had become a full on shouting contest.

"His hand", she corrected.

I groaned inwardly "people like you" I motioned to her "give a bad name to heroes"

"How dare you-" she was interrupted mid-scoff by soft rustling of fabric and a sleepy yawn that made the both of us stop dead in our tracks.

"...Mirio?" He sounded bloated with confusion, his voice no louder than a whisper yet it shot a quivering sense of butterflies throughout every ounce of my being. It almost made me forget my past fears of this current confrontation, almost.

I  turned around, my eyes instantaneously connecting to those oh so familiar indigo ones.