Beetlejuice the Musical Script

Proposal

[Delia]
"Charles, that was the most spiritually nourishing rogering you have ever given me"

[Charles]
"I'm very good at sex.
And yet I worry
About the future
About lydia"

[Delia]
"Oh, she's so stubborn
I just need more time"

[Charles]
"No, you have failed
so have I.
This is all so wrong
You're my employee
But also my lover.
It's–"

[Delia]
"Prostitution"

[Charles]
"Not good for Lydia
She needs stability
And here we are sneaking around like two teenagers at a church picnic
It has to stop"

[Delia]
"Wait, Charles, are you breaking up with me?"

[Charles]
"Delia"

[Delia]
"You're firing me?!"

[Charles]
"Delia"

[Delia]
"You're breaking up with me, and firing me?!
Oh my God,
Lydia's vision was right"

[Charles]
"Vision?
What vision?"

[Delia]
"Why does this always happen to me?
Ever single time I fell like I start to belong it's,
'goodbye, Delia'
'you're out of the band, Delia'
'Vishnu doesn't need more disciples, Delia'"

[Charles]
"No, wait
I'm not comfortable with feelings
You know this
What I'm trying to say is
I hired you to help my daughter
But you have ended up helping me,
We can't hide this anymore
Do you understand what I'm proposing?"

[Delia]
"No"

[Charles]
"I'm proposing"

[Delia]
"Oh my God"

[Charles]
"Delia Schlimmer,
Will to do me the honor of signing a prenuptial agreement,
And becoming my second wife?"

[Delia]
"You bet your ass I will!"

[Charles]
"Oh, I'm so happy"

(Lydia screams, from off stage)

[Charles]
"Hide!"

(Delia hides under a blanket)

[Lydia]
"Dad! Dad!
There are ghosts!
They're chasing me!"

[Charles]
"What?
What are you talking about?"

[Lydia]
"This house, it's haunted!"

[Maitlands]
(Trying to be scary, but failing)
"Leave this house!"

[Lydia]
"Can you see them?"

[Charles]
"What? No
See what?"

[Lydia]
"The ghosts!
They're in the room with us
And they have scorpions for teeth
And their eyes they're made out of the devil!!"

[Charles]
"Lydia, I don't know what kind of game you're playing right now"

[Lydia]
"We gotta get outta here!
Grab everything you can!
And let's go back–"

(She pulls the sheet off the bed, revealing Delia)

[Lydia]
"Delia?"

[Delia]
"Hi"

[Lydia]
"Dad, why is Delia in your bed?"

[Charles]
"Lydia, I have asked Delia to marry me"

[Lydia]
"What?
No, you can't do that"

[Charles]
"Lydia, this is a good thing,
I need a wife,
You need a mother"

[Lydia]
"I have a mother,
Dad, there are ghosts here
If this house is haunted,
That might mean that mom might still be back in our old house"

[Charles]
"Lydia, in 24 hours, Maxie Dean will be here, to have dinner with our family,
And I'd like us to be a family"

[Lydia]
"No"

[Delia]
"Lydia, look
I know that you're upset, alright?
But maybe this is meant to be"

[Lydia]
"I wish I was dead!"

[Delia]
"Charles, maybe we should"

[Charles]
"No, she just needs more time"