Beetlejuice the Musical Script

No Reason

[Lydia]
"hey Delia."

[Delia]
"yeah"

(Lydia takes a photo of delia)

[Lydia]
"good one, really captured your essence"

[Delia]
"You cannot just sneak up on people and take their essance.
Also I don't model anymore
unless I'm payed up front in cash.
I learned that the hard way"

[Lydia]
"I just want something to remember you by when you're gone"

[Delia]
"What are you talking about?
I'm not going anywhere"

[Lydia]
"I had a vision"

[DELIA]
"That's great.
I had a vision once, 
I was in the sweat lodge,
actually it was just a really hot apartment in queens 
with the doors locked from the outside."

[LYDIA] 
"Well in my vision, 
my dad and I are back in New York, 
everything goes back to the way it was....
Oh...
You don't exist!"

[DELIA]
"Lydia,
I know that I'm paid
to care about you but, 
I'd like us to be real friends!" 

(dabs)

"You know? 
So.. I have an idea. 
Why don't you and I
clean out all that old junk in the attic and build you a dark room!" 

[LYDIA] 

(Laughs and goes back to serious) 

"My whole life is a dark room. One. Big. Dark. Room."

[DELIA] 
"Well that's depressing. 
You know my guru Otho says that 
'depression is like an ugly sweater.
It's ok at christmas, 
but the rest of the year
you gotta put it away.' 

Which reminds me! 
I got you a new dress
for your father's business dinner!"

(pulls out dress) 

(Excitedly)
"ahhh!

I says I'm warm, 
I'm friendly,
and I think about death
only a normal amount."

[LYDIA] 
"I prefer black."

 [DELIA] 
"Black remind me of a funeral, this is a business dinner."

 [LYDIA] 
"It could be both!" 

(pulls out mimed glass) 

"A toast to my father
and his all important business, 
also...
one of your wine glasses is poisoned!"

[DELIA] 
"Lydia you give me that!"

(takes mimed glass and throws it to the floor)

"smash! 
Lydia right now you are
redirecting anger,
and deflecting pain,
and other terms I learned in my training. 
What you need is
a new perspective!"

The universe
Is more than just space with no end
La-la-la-la-la!
Just think of the universe as a female best friend
And you can be like
'Hey, Universe, what's happenin, girl?'
And she'll be like
'Oh, nothin... just running the world.'
And you'll be like,
'What?'
And the universe will be like 
'I know!
You're on the right track, girl
I got your back, girl
I'm helping you grow'
Think positive
Act positive
You are a child of the Earth!

"Life-coaching! Nailing it!"

Time to take command
You dictate the hand
The universe deals
Look!
Science makes no sense
Who needs evidence?
Go with your feels
I'm like a radio
Tuned to the stars
I found my frequency
Crystals speak to me

[LYDIA]
"What are they saying?"

[DELIA]
"Buy more crystals!"

Everything, everything happens for a reason
Be a beacon of light in the world
Put a little 'alright' in the world
There are spiritual guides above
Look up and see 'em
Perception is reality
Just listen to the melody the universe sings
'Cause everything, everything happens for a reason

[LYDIA]
"Gee, I hate to break it to you." 

The universe is just the contents of time, matter and space

[DELIA]
"Yeah."

[LYDIA]
Ninety-one billion light-years across
And the Earth's a small place
Where good people die

[DELIA]
"No—"

[LYDIA]
"Yeah."

In famine and wars
The Pacific Islands are sinking
But negative thinking is hardly the cause
You think life is all unicorns and rainbows 'cause you're bored

[DELIA]
"Unicorns are scary"

[Lydia]
And positivity is a luxury that few can afford

We're gonna die
Yes, you and I
In meaninglessness and alone...

[DELIA]
No no no!
No!
One day you may wake up alone

[LYDIA]
"Okay?"

[DELIA]
'Cause your husband and his boyfriend bought a boat
And then they sailed away to Rome

[LYDIA]
"That's specific."

[DELIA]
So you cry yourself to sleep in deep despair
Talkin' to the walls 'cause there's no one there
And you have to buy a cat
'Cause that's your last chance to have a family
Take it from me!
That your aging ass will have to believe that—

Everything, everything happens for a reason
Put some more fun in the world
A little 'I am still young!!!' in the world
Be prepared to take your eggs and freeze 'em—

[LYDIA]
"Is this still about me?"

[DELIA]
'Cause everything, everything happens—

[LYDIA]
Sounds like terrible things can happen
Because the universe is random

[DELIA, spoken]
"Yes, but—"

Random for a reason!

[LYDIA]
No reason!

*A/N
I'm sorry to add this author's note, but, first off, sorry for taking forever to do this, I've been busy with school work and all that. And second off, I can't believe this is at over 12k reads, so thank you. And as a thank you, after I complete the script, I will do some cut songs/ original versions of some songs and some other moments that were cut*