December 31, 2002

Chapter 1, Autumn: Is he Blushing...?

"Come on!" I say, "Please!"
"Nooo I don't want to go there, c'mon let's just go get food," she says.
"Ugh fine, I'll go on my own. I'll see you later," I say, walking backwards, still facing her.
"Fine, bye."
She always does this! It's so frustrating. We always do what she wants, the least she could do is come with me to get the video game I've wanted for so long. At least she's buying me popeyes afte-
BAM
I realize that I've bumped into someone while I was still walking backwards. I raise my head up higher to look at the face and see my childhood best friend.
Wow, he's kinda glowed up I mean..
Hold up, this is Jordan we're talking about.
I couldn't take my eyes off his handsome face. Those blue eyes with the floppy brown hair and the touch of freckles by his nose. Damn.
"S-sorry," he says which brings me back to what's happening and I realize his hands have been holding my forearms and I've still been leaning in since I stumbled over him. How long ago was that?
"It's o-okay, that was actually my fault."
"You okay?" Jordan asks- is he blushing..?
"Um, yeah, yeah, of course," I say as I hear snickering and look to the side to see Jordan's friends howling with laughter.
I feel myself turning red as I peel myself away from Jordan's arms and before I know it I'm already leaving and continue walking. Wait, where was I heading again? Oh, wait, right, EB Games.
I walk inside the store and immediately get caught up with all the new video games that I want but will never be able to get because I'm too broke.
I walk around and find the game I was looking for when I feel a pair of eyes falling on me a couple of feet from where I stand. I try to discreetly look over to see who it is when I notice it's Jordan. I turn around fully to have him turn his gaze away from mine fast.
I walk over to the cashier and hand her the game.
"That'll be $13.99."
I fish out the money from my pocket and hand it over the counter before taking the game and the receipt and thanking the lady. I walk out awkwardly past Jordan and his jerk friends and make my way to the food court to meet Rose.
As I head there, the memories start flooding in. There was one, we were riding our bikes on that path when I lost my balance and fell and hurt my knee, losing my first tooth in the process, and he ran over to me without knowing what to do but hugged me tight until our moms caught up. Or when we rode the bus to school every morning and he always had the best peanut butter and jelly sandwich his mom made him which he always shared with me. I wish things stayed the same. It's not fun losing your childhood best friend, your twin, especially when there was no valid reason.
"Hey," Rose finds me and distracts me from my train of thoughts. I assume Rose notices my far-away expression when she curiously asks "What's up?"
"I may or may not have just run into my childhood best friend. Literally ran into him."
"Oh my god, Jordan?!" She asks.
"Yes, who else, idiot," I say.
"Okay okay," she says, laughing, "tell me what happened in line," and then she asks "Popeyes?"
"Hell yeah!" I say excitedly, my mouth already watering at the thought of the delicious, juicy, fried chicken.
I started telling her everything that happened from the second Rose and I parted ways 'till now.
"Oh, and did I mention his glow-up? How have I never noticed it before?" I say dumbfounded right when I hear a faint chuckle close by, like close as in a couple of inches behind me.
I spin around and find- who else? Jordan, of course. He's standing straight and tall with his height of around what looks like 5'8 or 5'9. I feel myself blush when I realize what I was saying and start rambling.
"I can say the same about you."
I turn red even more as I realize that he pretty much just said I glowed up myself. Hell no.
I turn back around and stare at the ground thoughtfully when I realize Rose is still next to me, ordering the food.
We grab the food as soon as it's ready and head to a small vacant table nearby.
"Did we just hear the same thing?"
"I'm pretty sure we did," Rose replies calmly.
"Is he blind? How did I, of all people, glow-up?" I ask her.
"Come on Autumn! Stop this bullshit already! You're beautiful and everyone knows it except you so whether you accept it or not, everyone already knows it!"
"Woah there," I say, "I'm really not, everyone else is just delusional, including you, may I add."
Rose sighs frustratingly and says, "Whatever, you are, but say whatever you want. Anyway, there's a party next weekend at Anderson's and we should go, have some fun, you know."
I hesitate for a second and Rose sees it when she gives me a pleading look. Parties aren't always my thing but I guess it won't hurt to go out once in a while.
"Okay, okay, I'll come,"
"Yes! Finally, thank you!" she exclaims, the pleading look that was there a minute ago already replaced with a cheery smile. Unlike myself, Rose really was pretty, like genuinely beautiful with her silky black hair and bright hazel eyes. She's the girl that would get all the guys, that is if she didn't already have one. Her boyfriend Caleb was the one she recognized and chose out of all the other ones and they honestly deserve each other.
I could never.

***

The weekend crept up on me and I found myself at Anderson's house for the party Rose dragged me into with Caleb who drove us here with his red Ford Fusion. I had chosen fitted jeans and a pastel yellow top with a light blue windbreaker for my fit.
I was already bored, holding my red cup filled with Canada Dry because vodka's disgusting no matter what anyone says to me. I glance around the living room with all the couples making out and groups scattered around playing rounds of beer pong before I realize a hand landing on my forearm.
"You came here alone, babe?" A guy sneering down at me says, "Come with me and I'll show you some fun."
Does he think I'm stupid? We all know what he really means. Plus, he's fucking drunk.
"Uh, no, I gotta go," I say trying to peel away from his grip, but he won't let me go. I keep trying to pull away but his grip tightens as he tries dragging me upstairs. I feel blood.
"She said no, dumbass," a deep voice yells out firmly over the noise of the whole house. "So let her go."
"Aww, and what are you gonna do about it-" the punch that comes his way silences him.
The drunk then shoves the guy and I look to see who the guy is. Jordan. Again. Of course.
Before I know it, I start running away. I keep running and running until I'm at least a block away from the house and spot a small park just around the corner. I go and sit down on the swings before I allow the tears to come rushing out. It hurts like hell. Why is our world like this? Why?
I calm down a bit but still with some tears, I hear a soft crunch of leaves nearby and look up to find Jordan. Again.
"It's okay," I hear him say as he approaches me, "Don't worry, I'm here."
I feel him right beside me when he reaches his hand down to my level and I take it without thinking and before I know it, he's pulling me up and into his embrace, folding his arms around my waist, holding me tight. He lets me cry some more into his shoulder, reaching up to run small circles on the small of my back. My hand reaches up to his nice and refreshing scented hair and the other wraps around his torso. His arms are in the same position, his hand running through my curled hair, his other holding me tight. I realize how much comfort he brought to my world and how much I really did miss him. So much.
After a few minutes of holding each other tight, I back away slowly and we stare at each other for a couple of seconds, his hands still firm on my waist.
"I-I should probably head home now," I manage to say, finally.
"Oh," he says, "Uh, yeah, yes of course, yeah."
"Thanks."
"No problem," he says. "Wait, do you want me to walk you home?"
"No, it's okay, thanks anyway."
After a few seconds, I start to back away but he pulls my arm and pleadingly says, "It's really dark, let me walk you. I'm right next door and I don't want to go back anyway," gesturing to the party.
I hesitate when he adds "Please."
I realize it really is dark and what already happened at the party was enough, so I give in and say, "okay."
We start heading down the sidewalk in silence. It's the kind of awkward silence, not the comfortable peaceful silence. How did it become this way? We've known each other since we were born.
We turn the corner that leads to our neighbourhood when he says with a sad smile, "Remember when we walked to school sometimes in third grade and you always managed to fall or trip over?"
I'm taken aback for a second at the sudden mention of our childhood but I guess it was hanging in the air, that we couldn't make conversation when we've always known each other.
"Oh yeah," I say, chuckling softly.
"Are you still that clumsy-" he starts but before I know it, I'm already tumbling over and my face is almost to the ground when a pair of strong arms fold around my waist just in time. My heart flutters.
"That answers my question," he starts laughing and I look over at him confused when I realize that he was just saying how much of a klutz I was before I almost fell. Great.
I roll my eyes at him and try to hide my smile. "Thanks."
"Anytime," he says, still softly laughing and it's like we both realize at the same moment that his hands are still wrapped around me from when I almost fell. We pull away from each other awkwardly and continue walking until we've reached our small, almost identical, homes.
"So, um, I'll see you around," I say.
"Yeah, see you at school tomorrow, Autumn."
I enter my house and make my way up the stairs when I hear my mom yell from the kitchen downstairs. "Autumn, is that you? Was that Jordan's voice I heard?"
"Yup."
"You mean, Beth's Jordan? Jordan Adler? Jordan Riley Adler?" Mom says, clearly surprised. Me and Jordan may have drifted but my mom and his definitely have not, considering the fact that they still go out every Friday night for brunch.
"That's the one."