Whirlwind

27

[Riley]

October 21st – 49 days until release

"I'm so glad you were able to make it today Ms. Coleman!" Vanessa greeted warmly in sync with a gesture toward her desk.

Her pale hands flattened out the drapery of her plaid sweater before she took a seat, and I was pressured by her buoyant nature to cease my edginess and follow suit. The only difference was I was instead unzipping my leather jacket while eyeing the plaques and awards that lodged her office walls and shelves. The last time I was here at the XXL headquarters was many weeks ago. At the time I was exhausted and barely paid attention to any of my surroundings, let alone the accolades that were better off being called wallpaper. They were literally everywhere, and I could only imagine the day I had as many as she did in my own home or workspace.

Aside from that, the mere idea of shadowing Lamarr was bombarding me, it seemed impossible and I was so close to declining an assignment that would give me a career boost. Now here I was getting the job done and being comfortable while doing it. I was genuinely enjoying not only interviewing Lamarr but watching him grow. I was witnessing him discover things about himself all while I discovered a few of my own. One being that I could coexist in this world with him and it didn't have to be agonizing. It was all about finding that space, somewhere where I felt gratified and progression. I struggled with that task for the longest up until I faced one of my many fears: Lamarr. I was slowly making it beyond the first stage and at this point I didn't think there was a need for me to proceed beyond to the others. Being civil and in his presence when I needed to be was enough for me to move on freely, especially when everything else outside him and my career were moving slickly now.

"So am I." I replied back as we both gave each other a cordial smile. "I have some great news for you too!"

"I'm glad to hear that. You can share it with me as soon as I give you this." Vanessa placed the latest issue of XXL that was branded a 'special edition' onto her desktop, then pushed it over toward me.

The front cover was my self-designed collage of artists reared in the new school and old school, and the picture was only the beginning of my many moments of clarity with the genre I respected so much. Some of them were so brutally honest that I was sure someone's manager would be in my emails to have a 'talk', while others were nothing but mild truth. They were facts we as music listeners had to accept about the change and others where we had to help execute change.

Seeing a copy in the flesh was nerve wrecking, because now the entire world would be able to scrutinize my deepest thoughts and opinions on a topic so sensitive to many. On top of that I was also responsible for the last issue of the year. Readers didn't have but three other copies and covers stories of the year 2014 to compare it to, and those were all written and constructed by someone with more experience and credibility to their name. I was literally taking a fifty-fifty chance by accepting and writing these cover stories, the chance to make or break the other facet of my writing career.

"Wow, this is real." I mumbled to myself as my eyes traced the faces of each entertainer, and the bold white letters that rested in the corner.

"It is, and this is the first copy. It's all yours." She said back, watching as my eyes ignited and my hands finally grasped the publication. My fingertips ran along the glossed texture and thick binding that had my name printed along it, kindling a smile against my lips. "You did an incredible job with your research, your choice of images to place throughout the story, and Riley, your retrospection was beautifully composed. You have a wonderful talent. If you ever push songwriting aside, just know you're always welcome here."

"Vanessa...thank you. I was worried that I wouldn't live up to the expectations you all had for it."

"You went above the expectations we had. I was glad to see that the sub articles from other writers here fit perfectly, it kept the tone the same through the entire issue. This is definitely a special one for us."