that bitch (Post Malone - completed)

life now

Austin's POV

Life's good .

I have everything I want, money, cars, jewelry, houses anything I could ever wish for. I still wasnt happy. I drank and partied alot to fill the loneliness. I have fans not friends. Don't get me wrong I have a tight knit  friendship group but we like to keep it small. Less hassle. Too many fake people.

I had a girlfriend but she's from Tokyo and I'm not sure if it's too much too soon. She's a nice girl but I'm just not sure I'm in that place ATM. I don't want to string anyone on and she's too good for that.

We've just come off the first leg of the tour. Tour was amazing it went so well but I'm burnt out. I need rest so I'm going home to Texas for Christmas. It's overdue, its probably been a few years since I stayed there for any holiday. Im looking forward to it. I don't see my dad and Jodie enough and all my high school friends. Especially since Jason moved back to the love of his life Jenny. I love Jenny but she just reminds me of her. And not the her that I sing about the her her who I loved for 3 years, the one I lost my virginity to. My first love

I pack my case. Absentmindedly chucking stuff in. I should have packed earlier the car is waiting for me outside but I kept putting it off.  The Christmas presents are already in the SUV that's outside with my security. I went overboard but sometimes I feel guilty that I don't see them enough I try and compensate. Really celeb of me.

I can't wait for a proper home cooked meal. I can't remember the last time I had one of those. I just tend to postmate here. I don't think I've ever even used the stove. I love my house here in Utah but it is big and lonely when I'm here alone. I got it to be my forever home, I can imagine my wife  and a few kids running about playing . I would have to meet someone special for that to come into fluision and I'm not doing that any time soon with this mind frame.

I've been drinking heavily again. Another reason for me to visit home. Get me out if this headspace. It's not healthy. I've not been going to many afterparties on this tour but sometimes that's worse because I end up drinking hard liquor alone or even worse with a groupie.

I fastened my case and made my way down to the car that is waiting for me, locking up as I go. "Branson!" I call waiting for the little french bulldog to appear. I pick him up lock up and slide into the SUV while driver loads the last of my luggage.

We make the short journey to the airport and I start to get nervous. I hate flying and I especially hate it when I'm flying alone. Like what if I die... I die alone. That shit freaks me out. Well at least this time I have my dog...

We arrive at the airport and drive straight onto the tarmac upto my plane. I jump out with Branson and take my carry on bag up the stairs. I settle into a seat and take my drink to help me sleep on the plane. My team load the plane and we take off within 30mins. Branson curled up on the seat next to me. He's doing a great job of calming me. I'll have to try bring him along more often. I just don't like him being cooped up when I'm performing. Maybe I'll hire somebody to look after him on tour and I can bring him everywhere. I do miss him when I'm gone.

I scroll through Instagram looking at all the people from high school I follow. I notice people posting #tbt pictures. Alot of these pictures I remember being taken. From parties we all went to events at school. Prom photos in big dresses and shitty tux's and game day photos.

That's when I saw her, shit I've not seen a picture of her face for a few years. I see it in my head everytime I perform but not literally Infront of me. Shit she's as gorgeous as I remember. Stood there in her cheerleading outfit, how I pulled a cheerleader I will never know the band geek I was. The memories came flooding back. My cock twinged at some of them especially in that uniform, damm. I may say I hate her but I didnt. I was still in love with her and always would be. I never found out why she really left. It hit me like a truck when she left me tore my heart Into a thousand pieces.

That bitch that broke my heart