My Body Lies...Really Bad

My Body Lies... Really Bad Chapter 13- Unanswered Questions

Why couldn't I just be a guy? Okay, yeah, I'd prolly still get beaten up by my girlfriend's brother if we were caught doing something risky... But just not as badly. Guys had that sort of connection with each other, I desperately wanted and needed that connection. Matt might have even accepted me, if it weren't for my damned habit of leaving unlocked doors.

What would she say if I just told her? It's not like my life would be ruined forever, she's just one girl, after all. One girl who makes me smile. One girl I can take my time with. One girl who liked me back.

She was also one girl I had rejected. Trust me, I'd definitely wanted to take that next step.... But seeing that I was physically incapable of doing that, rejection was the only answer. Besides, if I would've said yes and hopped right on her, it would've gotten me in a whole lot more trouble... Not to mention confusion.

So while Matt dragged me down the stairs and Delilah began to cry, I was trying to decide if this was all worth it. It seemed to rushed. Like a split decision. My relationship was basically over now because of her sadness and the fact that Matt would surely tell her now, just like he had told on Darren. Stupid dickwad. He prolly had girls in bed all the time! Yet, right now, he was shoving a virgin out his door for practically nothing. Nobody gets me.

I walked home in the half-freezing weather without a jacket. When I got home, all I heard was a loud crash from upstairs, then bed springs. Awww, jeez. Not this again. It only lasted ten minutes this time, as my mother screamed louder and louder...

"Oh, Yes! Jake... Ooohh, right there.., oh, I'm gonna.... I'm gonna..... Ooohhhh!!!"

My mother descended the stairs first, in only her silk robe. Thank god I had my fathers traits! My mom was pretty with dirty blonde hair and hazel eyes, but no where near boyish enough for my liking. Id been told my father had my same black hair, small nose, full lips, and big blue eyes.

She looked at me with wide eyes as she blushed and poured some wine into a glass.

"So, sweetie... How much of that did you hear?" She asked, taking a long sip of her wine. Yeggghhh, how can she like that stuff???

"Basically all of it. Nothing I haven't heard before." I say, not really thinking about how bad that sounded. Wow, my mom was gonna kill me. She almost spit out her wine, before setting the glass down and pointing her finger at me. She was at a total loss of words for a few minutes.

Yeah, I'd meant I'd heard it from her. But now that I think about it, it was just tonight that I.... Oh, how embarrassing and totally girly of me that was.

"So, like, what exactly do you mean by that miss thang?" my mother asked. She still wasn't getting this whole GUY thing down.

"Nothing mom, really. Just when you two lovebirds do it... Not me. Oh, and it's mister thang if you wanna get technical. I'll never be a misses." I said, glaring at her. After years, she still couldn't get this through her head.

"Yeah, well, that could change. And I don't want you to talk to me in that manner ever again, you hear?" She asked, raising her voice to sound more "motherly." Excuse me, but what manner are you talking about crazy bitch? Of course, I couldn't say that, but I definitely thought it.

"Yeah, mom." I said.

With that, I walked up stairs to my room and took a shower. For once, in a long time, I looked in the mirror. Why couldn't I be normal? What was wrong with me?

My binding sagged off of my sore chest, and my boxers gave a hint that there was NOTHING where there should've definitely been SOMETHING. My hair was all messy and covered my long lashes. My skinny body and pale skin gave way that I was no "normal" teenager. Or that I was the least bit attractive. Just a skinny little kid. A skinny, little, messed up, girl. That's what I was to everyone. Everyone except me.

All night, even in my dreams, I asked the same question that millions of other teenagers across the whole world ask themselves from time to time;

Why couldn't I just be normal?

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Okay, this is Lilly. Wow, uhhhh, depressing much? Well, ya gotta think how hard this would be..... Ya know? Anyways.... This was a sort of "blahhh" Christmas present for you guys who actually read this. Btw, I LOVE when people comment, so plz do! :D

Oh, and I'll prolly upload another one tomorrow... It's gonna get physical! Like, fighting. Not the other kind... Well, there'll be some of that too.... After a couple chapters. Just keeping the big drama on hold. I feel like I'm already going through this story too fast... It's s bad habit of mine. So....

Happy Holidays/Merry Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanza/ any other religious holiday!!! Yay!!!