A lot of the time life just doesn't fucking make sense. For example this past year doesn't even seem like it happened. It doesn't seem real. Like it was all a figment of my imagination. A bad dream. And I keep having to pinch myself trying to wake myself up from this nightmare only to realize its my life. There's nothing I can do about it. I cant change what happened that day Matt completely tore me out of his life. And I can't help but think that this is all my fault. And It's just now that I'm realizing that all these years those butterflies I felt when I was with him weren't nerves or anything. Now I realize I'm in love with him and I always have been.
