Begin Again

WALL

Delano avoided the huge crowd of people in the hallway and slid his way through to the library. Once he set his foot on the cold marble floor, he felt a sense of satisfaction at the peacefulness that was lingering in the still air. As the doors closed behind him, it was like he was finally cut off from the loud noise and gossiping by the rest of the school. 

He had promised Fletcher and Piper to stay back for a group study, so he found a yellow round table and lay his books on it, then started to arrange them according to subjects. He was almost halfway to chemistry when he was interrupted by the lychee-coloured Kate Spade margaux large satchel that was put onto his well-arranged pile of reference books, 'dismantling' his beautifully built book Lego. 

He looked up and found himself staring straight at the girl who had asked him to be her boyfriend, the same girl who had been on the video that had gone viral in a single day. 

'You.' Brooklyn pointed at Delano. 'Outside. Now.'

He trailed behind her, following her anxious footsteps until she finally stopped in her tracks when they were outside. 

'This isn't working out,' She said, her index finger pointing back and forth at Delano and herself. 

Delano had wanted to tell her that it was never his idea to do the 'get together' thing, but he figured out it was best to keep quiet until she finished talking. 

'I'm not putting my reputation at risk,' she continued. Delano had to control himself from laughing because she doesn't seem to have much of a reputation left after that particular video leaked out. 

'There's obviously someone out there who thinks that you're hers,' Brooklyn rolled her eyes. 'So I'll just be the bigger man and let you go. I hope you understand.' She smiled. 

He coughed dryly. 

I have always been the more understanding one. It's you who needs to understand. He wanted to say, but instead he told her, 'Yeah, let's just break up. It's better this way.'

He thought she would agree, since that seemed to be the only point in this entire reputation-related talk, but apparently she just wanted him to beg her to stay. 

'So you're okay... with us not being together?' She asked, her voice starting to crack, the smile on her face turning into a frown. 

'Oh, no, don't cry,' He bit his lips nervously. 'I thought you wanted this.'

'I...' She pouted her lips. 'I was expecting you to tell me not to give up on us.' 

'Oh.' 

He looked away from her. 

'Brooklyn-' 

'Oh? That's all you've got to say to me? We've been together for like, what, two days and you're already getting bored of me?' Tears were glistening in her eyes. 

'Hey,' He grabbed her shoulders. 'Look at me.'

'What?' She lifted her hand to wipe of a tear that had rolled down her cheek. 

'Listen. I'm sorry if I made you sad, but here's what I truly think, okay?' He looked at her to make sure she nodded her head before continuing. 

'I never got a say in this boyfriend position you're putting me through, you never even asked if I was okay about it, but I did it anyway because I know you needed someone to replace Austin. But you're always just a friend to me, Brooklyn, nothing more and nothing less.' And he stopped. 

She was quiet like a little kid, her eyes looking at everything beside them but him, her mind thinking about what she was going to say next.

'I knew you didn't like me that way.' She finally spoke after a minute of silence. 'But I wanted to numb the pain. I miss Austy. I really do.'

'I know. He'll be back in less than two weeks.' He gave her a friendly pat on her shoulder.

'Thanks for everything, Delano. And I'm sorry, you never deserved to be a replacement.'

He smiled. 

'It's time for both of us to grow up.'

And it's time for me to get some answers. 

***

He waited. He waited until the time has finally arrived, and he made his way up to the roof. He sat down and continued to wait. 

The minute hand on his watch was moving much slower than any other day, and he was thinking of a thousand questions he would ask and their respective reasons, but the only word that was replaying endlessly in the back of his mind like some kind of background music was why. 

 'There you are,' He greeted when she showed up in her usual cape, trying to sound as normal as he could, though as hard as he tried the nervous feeling in his gut was bubbling like it would overflow any minute then. 

'Hey, so how's your day?' Belle asked. 

'Brooklyn and I broke up.' 

He finished off his sentence slowly, saying every word like he was telling someone else's story, while his eyes were staring straight at hers, trying to find any clue he could. But she was looking down at her hands, which were busy drawing circles at the tip of her shoes, like she was also listening to someone else'e story. And that someone else wasn't him. 

'Mm.' It was all the reply he could get from her. Her arms were crossed in a very uncomfortable position, as if she was trying to cover up something. He reached for her left arm suddenly and caught her by surprise. 

There was a faint splash of blood-red liquid on the inner side of her sleeve, and it smelled fresh.

'Is this,' Delano gulped before he continued. 'Paint?' 

'I can explain,' She pulled her arms back with some force and breathed in deeply. 

'So explain.' 

She looked at his confused face. Those two words came out of his mouth like daggers that were heading straight towards her heart. Never had she imagined that she would get caught in a situation like this, not with him. 

He couldn't know. He wouldn't. 

A moment of silence passed by. She reached for his hand and was happy that he didn't pull away, but the words that had been running in her head kept being swallowed back down her throat. 

She thought for a while.

He shouldn't know. Not like this. 

But she didn't have a choice.