Clueless [h.s]

[19] No Control

"You can't go back to alcohol when you have a problem, Harry. It isn't healthy."

"Who says I have a fucking problem?" He snaps.

"Well you obviously do, Harry! Stop denying it!" I shout.

"Did you only come here to yell at me? Just leave, Ariana! Didn't I make that clear last time we saw each other?" He stands from the chair, taking three steps closer to me.

"Why won't you tell me why you broke all of Niall's stuff?!!" I shout even louder, not caring if Niall can hear us from inside. I do not know why Harry is still outside wearing nothing but a t-shirt, it is snowing.

"Let's just say I have way too many feelings and not enough ways to handle them." Harry murmured, staring down at his shoes.

"What does that mean?" I ask.

"It doesn't matter now, Ariana." he rolls his eyes. "Just do me the favor and leave me alone, go back to your little boyfriend!" He shouts, turning his back to me.

"This is what it is about, huh? You're jealous, Harry." I say.

"I am anything but jealous, Ariana." He huffs, shivering with the cold. "Just fucking leave! I don't want to see you anymore!"

"I just wanted to help." I say.

"Help me?" His face twist in confusion. "You're not helping me, Ariana. You're fucking hurting me so just do me the favor and leave!" He raises his voice again. Hurting him? How can I be hurting this man when all I have been trying to do is fix him, to help him.

"Hurting you?"

"Jesus, Ariana. You really are clueless." He shakes his head, a small grin on his face. He rolls his eyes at me, bringing the bottle to his lips one last time and before he can drink it, I snatch it out of his hands and he flinches.

"Don't you see that I am here to help you? I am trying to be here for you!!" I shove at his chest. He smiles. He smiles a beautifully haunting smile before laughing a bit. He is infuriating.

"You are so pathetic. Don't you see that I don't want you here? I don't want your pity, your 'help', I don't want you here. With every fucking minute I spend with you is another reason why I have fallen so fucking hard for you and I can't fucking stand that! I don't want anything to do with you Ariana and yet here you are, leaving your friends to help me. You Ariana, are the definition of pathetic." His voice is full of venom, crumbling me into pieces.

"You don't mean that." I say, ignoring the pain in my chest. I know Harry is way too intoxicated right now I know he does not mean any of the cruel words he is saying. This is not Harry, Harry is not this rude. I feel all the anger and pain he has caused me by his simple words stirring inside me, tears threatening to stream down my cheeks.

I swallow the vile rising in my throat but I cannot hold back the tears that are already staining my cheeks.

"Are you crying?" His voice is calm, possibly worried.

"No." I lie.

"Ariana, I didn't mean-"

"Stop, Harry." I say, my voice shaky.

"I'm sorry," He stares down at me, pure emotion in his eyes. I let him wrap his arms around me as I cry into his chest. Although it is snowing out here, the warmth of his body radiates to mine as I hide under his arms. "Jesus Ariana. I'm sorry I didn't mean to say that, I am an idiot when I am drunk." He slurs.

"You are." I wipe the tears tears staining my cheeks on his black T-shirt.

"Please forgive me, Ariana. I didn't mean any of that, I want you here. I need you here." He wraps his arms just a little tighter around me and I feel like mush in his arms, I have never felt more emotion than I feel for this man. Suddenly, he loosens his grip around me and a switch flicks in him, "You're just so difficult."