Damaged Love

Relapse

Shooting star

on that night

with the star

cascading down to earth

the wish I made

was so far away

from what I wanted

but I was afraid to wish

for anything else

Relapse

with every relapse

with every cut

I try to come back

I have to believe I am stronger then this

that I can fight this

that my suicidal tendencies

can go away

if not what is the point

of the relapse

then to remember

why I want to live

Wind

the smell of the lake,

the beach,

the river,

the waterfall

brings back

the feeling of cold I enjoy so much,

the wind feels different

my spirit soars,

I feel free,

relaxed,

happy

the sigh of contentment comes out

and I feel

human once more,

re-energized,

alive

re-charged

Step back

driving back and forth

I hold on to the hope

one place will make me feel better

but each place holds it's own demons

but the drive gives me the time I need

to be alone,

to think,

and not be in danger of myself

the long rides,

the blasting of music

so I can't hear myself even breathe

anything to get away from myself for a while

I get home,

to arguments and anger

and I go back,

to isolation and depression

the ghosts

are in every corner

I try to step back

further and further

getting so close to the edge,

about to fall