Mistakes

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Let go

do you really want me to give up

to let this all go

to not try anymore


okay..

that's fine,

I will


I'll be your friend

and that is all

let everything sexual

or romantic go


since this is what you want

it's going to be so extremely fucking hard

and it will eat me from the inside out

but I will


I am tired of watching you

get so hurt

from me

just trying to love you


so I'll let it go

I won't ask anything of you

I will not stay over,

I do not know how long I can fake

pretending that I am happy

or fine


but for you,

so you can feel okay

I will let go








Mistakes

I do not

want to be

another one

of your mistakes


I do not

want you

to fuck me

because you feel

you have to

or hate me forever


the way I am

is not the way you are

and I have been loving you

the way I need to be loved

not the way

you need to be


I'll take the step back,

and drown it inside myself

so that you can be free

I do not

want to make any more

mistakes

or be one of yours,

or you

one of mine








Not here

I did my obligation for the day,

I worked,


but that doesn't mean

that I am here,

I am not alive


I can't feel completely,

it's not an emptiness

it's something new entirely,


its pain,

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