Save me from Suffocation

Ch.1

Hey guys! here's chapter one. I'm not sure how many chapters there will be, but it will be a pretty short story I think. Enjoy!

 As long as he remembered, Rin has had some sort of anxiety. When he was little, he remembered being scared and anxious of a lot of things and conveying his fear aggressively. He always got into fights because he felt the need to protect himself. He was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder at seven and minor Claustrophobia at thirteen. He was put on medication, and honestly, it helped with his anxiety and phobia, but the side effects weren't as great.

When he first started, he was very tired and drowsy, and often got bad headaches. After the years, his body got more used to the medication.

When his demonic powers were awakened, Rin was surprised to realize the side effects stopped affecting him. Thinking it was his demon blood, he happily shrugged it off and was doing great for a while.

Around the end of the year, right before the camp fight with Amiamon and getting captured by the Vatican, Rin slowly began to realize the effects stopped because his medication stopped working all together.

He mentioned the problem to his brother, but his brother shrugged it off, saying 'it must not work with your demon body anymore' and 'it probably hasn't been working for a while, so I'm sure you're fine.'

Rin wasn't fine. To his brother and now ex-friends, Rin seems fine. He plasters a fake smile for them. Even if they did care about him, they don't need him to be anymore of a burden than he is already. His brother is busy, his classmates hate him.

His anxiety begins to claim him again and dark thoughts plague his mind...

What if your classmates get hurt? What if you can't open your sword again? What if you don't have room to fight? What if Yukio gets hurt? What if you get hurt? What if you get lost? What if you loose control and hurt someone? What if you kill someone? What if you get trapped?

Trapped.

Just the word alone is almost enough to cause Rin's breathing to increase, his hands to shake, and his head to get fuzzy with panic.

Yukio did say that this demon they are going to exercise could create illusions based on your greatest fears. There's no way he could survive this mission if that happens. Frankly, Rin was depressed, suicidal if you must. He could care less if he dies, heck, he would be happy if he died. Nobody care or loved him, most everyone probably wanted him dead.

No more fear from his demonic powers, no more distractions, no more burden. Yukio could be happy, his classmates could be relieved. Kuro might be sad, but he can move on. Rin just isn't someone that could be dwelled on.

As much as he wants to die, claustrophobia has other plans for him. He would hate to die from suffocation or being crushed in a small space. No thank you.

He gets panic attacks and anxiety attacks often, but a few cuts or drops of holy water usually fixes that fast. Rin deserves the pain for what he is, a demon. It's fault everyone lives with fear.

Rin begins to feel anxiety pool in his stomach as he looks out the train window, clutching kurikara hard to keep his hands from shaking. Leaving him alone with his thoughts can get dangerous. Alone. Something Rin is permanently now, and will be until he decides to end it all.

The train comes to an abrupt stop and Yukio calls the ex-wires to follow him to their mission. Rin follows silently behind the group, and doesn't even try to fake happiness today. He's too exhausted and anxious to even try. It's not like anyone notices him anyways, unless they are tormenting him.

The demon they were sent to exercise is called an Osoreru. They hide in shadows or as big inanimate objects and can read a person's biggest fears. If you don't have magic seal on, it can sent illusions to your mind of your fear. When you are parylized, it usually attacks then. It's weakness is light and someone's bravery to stand up to its tricks, or in other words their fear.

This demon has been attacking the workers of an office building recently and they need to capture or kill it.

Each ex-wire has a magic seal to stop the demon's power and is going to go to a different part of the building to kill the demon's minions or parts. If they have the seal, killing the demon with light grenades and an Arya verse should a piece of cake.

Rin was allowed to use his power if absolutely necessary, but Yukio was firm to say that it was emergencies only.

Some went in pairs, while others chose to go alone. Rin obviously chose to go alone despite his growing anxiety. He desperately wants to go with someone, anyone, but he's supposed to be strong, to be feared by everyone.

But oh how he's scared.

He knows that if he looses that seal, then he's as good as dead, just not the way he wants to die. He can't help the worry in his stomach telling him it will go horribly wrong. No one will listen to his reason, anyway.

"Alright team, take these seals and make sure they stay on. The seal will break if torn, taken off, or messed up in anyway. Be very careful and make sure to keep your body away from the demon so it can't take your seal. If you need help, call me or the nearest ex-wire. Go off now, meet back here when the exercising is all done." Yukio gives them all instructions and they all go on their way into the building.

Rin looks up at the big multi-story building, trying to find the most open spot to look for the demon. He doesn't need real claustrophobia messing up his part of the mission.

He chooses a room in the highest story, next to the roof escape. He wants to be sure that if he has an unexpected panic attack or triggered anxiety attack he can escape to an open area to breathe.

*change to first person >< sorry*

I look around the dim, abandoned room and take a deep breath to calm my nerves. Just a small demon. You have the means to kill it and the seal. Kurikara if needed. I try to reassure myself and grip the seal on my side harder. I chose to put it under my shirt on my side so it's hidden and hopefully protected.

"Show yourself, Osoreru!" I shout to the room, standing in the middle, the lightest, part of the room. There is only a table and shadows in this room, so if the demon is here, that is where it would be.

According to Yukio, Osoreru is a form of Spirit demon, similar, but more deadly than ghosts. It can't posses people, but it can touch them.

I am startled out of my thoughts when I see a shadow from one of the corners dart to another. I scowl and turn towards it, the light grenade clenched tightly in my hand, my other hand pressed to the seal on my side.

It starts moving quickly in a rotation of the corners of the room, making me slightly dizzy from trying to focus on it. I turn sharply when I hear a demon laugh.

"You are entertaining. Quite a fool."

I open my mouth the retort to the shadow, but I feel a sharp pain in my side and cry out, realizing I moved my arm.

I stumble back, blood soaking my shirt and I see he deeply cut my side where the seal was.

Oh crap, the seal!