I knew she was right that it was the only way at this point for us to have eternity together. I had gained some acceptance and understanding over my years with the Cullen's, but I still didn't want that life for myself. I would never want that. Hell, most of them didn't want it! Being a werewolf was cool. Being a vampire was just creepy.
As I sat in my car I thought about how life would be if I refused her "solution." Nessie would watch me grow older but she would stay young. Would she still want me in thirty years? What about if we had a family? I didn't like the thought of my wife and children living on forever and myself dying of old age in seventy odd years. How hard would it be to leave them? Would our children be immortal? Would they carry the wolf gene? I had considered those questions before. It seemed easier to deal when I thought nothing could stop me from being there for them. The idea that I would die and they would live on indefinitely made me feel like I was abandoning them.
My mind raced on as I saw Bella's car come into view behind me.
I got out of the Rabbit and sat on the hood. I motioned for Bella to join me and she obliged. She caught me off guard by taking my hand in hers. I looked at her surprised, mostly by the gesture, but also because her hand was so cold.
"You said you needed us to be the way we used to be" she explained. I nodded smiling and gave her stone hand a squeeze.
"So what have you done now, Jake" she teased with empathy in her voice. I sighed.
"My newfound humanity has caused some tension between Ness and me" I began. "I promised her an eternal life together and now I can't deliver."
"I'm not pleased with the thought of losing you some day either" she said, frowning slightly.
"Well, you don't have to worry about that because your daughter's come up with the perfect solution" I replied sarcastically. Her eyes widened in interest but she didn't speak.
"All I have to do is let one of you vamp's bite me and I can finally be part of your exclusive club."
"Nessie wants you to become a vampire?" she asked in disbelief.
"Yu-p" I popped my P for effect.
She stared out at the road for a few moments. It felt like forever.
"Are you considering it?" she asked.
"No! I don't know. I mean, I guess I've tried to picture it because I love her so much and I want to make her happy, but I keep panicking when I think about telling her yes."
Bella laughed.
"What is so funny about this?" I barked.
"Nothing, Jake, I'm sorry. It's just that I've had to make this decision myself. My memories aren't too clear anymore but I do understand the choice you have to make."
"Do you ever regret it, Bells?"
"There are things I miss, like seeing my mother or going to the beach in the daytime, but I don't regret my decision. I knew what I was giving up if I changed, and I knew what I would be giving up if I didn't. I just asked myself what wasn't I willing to live without and the answer was obvious." She shrugged.
Chapter 14
Start from the beginning
