Infinite Realms: At Least I Have You (Newt X Reader ft. Thomas Sangster)

Chapter 29 - Will You Defeat Them, Your Demons?

So she knew.

"Is that why you've been avoiding me?" He asked the question he's been dying to ask for almost a month.

"Sort of." She sat down.

"That's not fair! I didn't ask to be given this job."

"I know that," she smiled sadly.

Newt could see that there was something else going on. He thought he'd be furious but he wasn't. He was curious.

"Something happened when I was stung," she said as she looked into his eyes. "I found out about my past. I found out who I was before all this." She had a grave look on her face.

"What's wrong?"

"I wish I didn't remember at all. My life is so screwed up."

"Join the club." (G/N) smiled.

"I'm scared you'll think differently of me."

"Why?"

"Everyone knows that I'm this workaholic person but when I came in the Glade, I was given a mission. A mission that I can't finish because I'm incompetent."

At the moment, Newt wasn't thinking that he finally had something for his report. He was only thinking that (G/N) was finally talking to him again. "What is it? I promise, I won't tell. You should've known that I won't tell them anything you don't want them to know."

She lifted her hand and laid it on Newt's cheek. He leaned into it. "I know that but I thought that maybe it was better you shouldn't know either." She drew her hand back.

"Why?"

"Because this mission is mine and mine alone."

"You don't have to be alone. But if that's what you want."

"Thanks."

"But you should know that I'll still stand with you even if you failed," he reached out for her hand and gently squeezed it. "You're my best friend. Remember? You have me and I have you."

"Yes," she  couldn't look at him. "That's how it should be. We should be relying on each other for strength and believe that we would accept each other. But that's not what happened." She slipped her hand away from his. "Because of that, I believed you'll be angry and hate me." She laughed without humor. "It's sad how I think our friendship is this fragile."

"You're wrong. You're not the only one who thinks that."

Hearing this, (G/N) lifted her head.

"There's something I've wanted to tell you. Something I did. Something I've been scared to tell you."

"What is it?"

"I'll tell you the real story. The real reason why I got injured the day you came in the Maze."

-

(G/N) intently listened to Newt's story. He told her everything and didn't hold anything back. He told her how depressed he was. The sleepless nights and the anxiety and sadness he'd feel every day. The feeling of worthlessness whenever he'd come back in the Glade without good news. Then the day that he tried to kill himself. The day that (G/N) came.

"I was so scared to tell you this," he said when he was done. "You thought that I was this strong leader. I didn't want to see the disappointment in your face when you realize who I am. I'm not strong, I'm weak."

(G/N) remembered when she saw Newt unconscious with his leg twisted. That was the result of him trying to kill himself.

She wondered what would've happened if he did it the day before she came. Or if he was dead before he got back in the Maze. Things would've been so different. She wouldn't have had a best friend. There would've been no one to hold her while she had her nightmares.

(G/N) remembered when she lost her brother and when she thought her parents hated her. The dark place she was in. She remembered the night that she almost cut herself. But she didn't.

She was falling in an abyss. It felt like a never ending fall. She thought that she'd get deeper and deeper but there were people who held her hand and tried to pull her up. She wasn't able to go to the surface yet, but she could see the sun. She knew that she could get out.

That was her but how about Newt? We're there people who held his hand and tried to pull him into the surface? Or was he alone? Was he trying to get out or did he succumb to the darkness?

"I don't believe that," she finally spoke. She wanted to reach for his hand but she felt ashamed. How could she say that she'll help him and that he has her when she left?

"Anyone who goes through what you've gone through is very strong. Everyone has their battles."

"Yes but I lost."

"You fought. You tried. And I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"For being insensitive." You went through a lot and the last thing you needed was a friend who suddenly gave you the cold shoulder. "For avoiding you. I don't know if it'll make a difference but I truly believe that you're the strongest person I know. I admire you more."

Newt smiled. It was the same sweet smile she loved. "Thank you. I've been thinking about this for a long time. I'm glad that you still like me."

She smiled. "A good friend of mine did say that I'll stand with you even if you fail or in your case fall."

Newt found it ironic that his words were handed back to him. "I forgive you. It's both our doubts that almost ruined the friendship. You still have me," he said. "You always will," he promised.

"You'll always have me," she promised.

"I'm bloody glad to have my best friend back."

Newt was overwhelmed with joy that he hugged (G/N). She was shocked with the contact at first but she gave in. There were still doubts in her head. She also knew what would happen to her in the future. But she pushed them all away because she didn't want the past and the future to ruin what she has now in the present.

A/N: Sorry I only updated now since I said that I'll update everyday. I had a lot of trouble about what could happen in this chapter.

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