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...to his reality and to his lies...
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Itachi sank into the darkness forever trapped in the forest with no destination in mind. After his little talk with Deidara he wanted even more to leave the hideout and put the most distance he could between him and the blond. It almost never happened anymore for him to be concerned about something or someone like he just realized he had been worried about the self-titled artist's wellbeing. Something in the blond triggered what he once threw away willingly, burying it in the depths of his being, and it wanted to come back to the surface again like old times however Itachi could not allow it to run free. It would be far too dangerous for him if he were to set it free again.
He lept from one tree branch to the other in search of a place to rest, away from all the troubles that always seem to find him even when he purposely ran away from them. When he reached a convenable enough distance he slowed down and more seriously watched his surroundings, looking for a river or a lake. He felt like water was a solution to his problems sometimes. Water was infinite and calm, flowing with undeterrable determination and incommensurable confidence in a world ruled by cruelty and injustice. It just lived its own life, uncaring of its good or bad surroundings. Itachi simply admired its unwavering spirit and endless freedom as well as he envied its existence completely. He longed to be as resolute as water could be and as free as it truly was, forging its own path not caring about the obstacles that ceasesly came its way.
He finally found a small opening in a river that allowed for a little soak and possibly even swimming. He headed there and decided to get rid of his clothes once he verified that no one was around. He was not shy per se but he was careful of an unannounced ennemi attack. He hung his clothing on a tree branch, unwilling to dirty them by plainly folding them and putting them on the ground. He took his time approaching the water, no longer in a hurry now that he was far from the Akatsuki. Here, he felt remotely safe even though many would have said that being alone in a forest could be dangerous for many different reasons but most of the forest's dangers could not even be applied to Itachi.
Having finally reached the river's opening, he tentatively soaked a foot into the cold and refreshing water. It made no difference to him since he no longer felt much emotions or pain but he knew it was cold nonetheless. He slid his body into the water, interrupting the calm stillness that usually reigned over it and sat down on the rocky sand, trying to savor the momentum by allowing his body to finally relax, something he almost never did anymore since he became part of the Akatsuki. Later he would go for a swim but right now he needed to empty his brain of useless thoughts that forever haunted him, asleep or awake; consciously or unconsciously.
Even when he still had not killed his family he was already weary of everything and never lessened his guard even while sleeping but, in that exact moment, he couldn't care less about a possible attack and for many reasons he felt safer here than in the organization's hideout. Moreover, for Itachi to lower his guard was something so rare he could not remember the last time he actually did it.
He let his thoughts run free, looking high above, contemplating the white fluffy-looking clouds that filled the much-too-blue sky. He was tired. Really, truly tired. He also did not know if he could continue to pretend being a mean, an evil shinobi. All he ever did was protect Konoha, and Sasuke, but he was rewarded by having to shoulder a sin so heavy no one could really bear. At first, he honestly thought it was okay if everyone else believed he was the bad guy; they could think whatever the hell they wanted. After all, in some ways he truly was the bad one because he had been able to kill not just his clan but even his close family. With time, however, he learned how much more tough it was to be isolated this way, only a selected few knowing the truth of that day. It became hard to deal with all the small changes that this incident had impacted on in his life. Going even further, perhaps he could have chosen another approach than simply jumping to the last, and most definitive, option of killing everyone that planned to oppose Konoha.
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Deceptive Reality (ItaDei)
Fanfiction[Warning! Annoyingly slow updates to come. I didn't drop the story but I won't rush to finish it for sure. Don't wanna mess it all up.] "Knowledge and awareness are vague, and perhaps better called illusions. Everyone lives within their own subjecti...
