Cry Me A Sea Of Tears

My life in hell

(Kayla's POV)

"Please no more," I begged fear lased in my voice. "YOU STUPID LITTLE UNGRATEFUL BITCH. I BROUGHT YOU INTO MY HOME AND HAVE BEEN CARING FOR YOU, AND YOU STILL CHOOSE TO DISRESPECT ME." He says yelling at me.

"I'm so..so..sorry" I stutter out. He continues slamming my head on the table till everything goes black. "Is this how I'll die?" I asked myself. "Well, it doesn't matter everything will be better when I'm dead".

You're probably wondering what is happening right now. I'll fill you in. My name is Kayla Johnson, and the monster that was hurting me is my foster father Patrick Turner. My biological father died when I was five so it was me and my mom and four older brothers it was fine for a while until my mom sent my brothers to live with her sister. My brothers promised to keep in contact, and it was like that for a while. Then when I was seven, they lost all contact with me.

Mom always seemed depressed after Dad's death. She couldn't handle losing the one she loved so dearly and being left alone. I resented her for separating me and my brothers but I also understood it was painful for her to constantly look at my brothers who resembled dad so much.

When I was nine, she took me to a woman I had never seen before and told me I would be staying with her for a while. I was still a child then and didn't realize my mom, the one who was supposed to protect me and love me, was abandoning me.

It hurt just as much as Dad's death and my brothers forgetting me knowing that I had been abandoned with no family to go back to or look forward to. I got moved around a lot, each place worse than the next until all hope I had was lost. Now I'm with Patrick, the worst possible place I've been sent.

I got back home a little late today because I desperately needed a new supply to fuel my addiction.

When I got back home Patrick wasn't there so I did my chores and made his dinner. Just as I was about to put his bottle of beer on the table the door slams open and Patrick walks in.

I felt fear wash over me as my color drained. "I didn't make it upstairs," I whispered to myself. I listened to his steps as they made their way closer to the dinner table.

I feared this man, I feared him more than any other I've had to deal with. He was a demon that had me trapped in hell like no other. I started to shake, I didn't dear lookup feeling his cold gaze looking dead at me.

"Welcome back," I say in a shaky voice almost inaudible. He says nothing back so I walk over to the side of the table and with my shaking hands put his bottle of beer on the table.

I had not realized how bad the shaking was till the bottle knocked over as I put it down.

Already knowing what was about to happen I snapped my head up to beg for forgiveness. As luck would have it I didn't even have enough time to react before I felt a sharp pain on my left cheek and the sting in my neck from snapping right.

"YOU LITTLE BITCH HOW DEAR YOU ". Without a chance to even compose me he kicked me in the stomach. My body met the ground as pain surged throughout my body. He kept on going, one kick after kick, punch after punch. All I could do was cry and beg to be spared.

I felt him grab me by the hair and start to drag me. Already knowing where I was being dragged to dread and panic piled up in my stomach.

Bringing my hands up I reach his hand and tried to pull them off me. My attempt failed so I dug my nails into his hands until he let go.

I used this as an opportunity to run but it didn't work out, he grabbed my hair again and slammed me onto the table. I started to see black spots appearing in my vision. I looked up just to see him staring down at me with a small but sick look of pleasure plastered on his face.

" YOU DISGUSTING BITCH HOW DEAR YOU".

"Please no more". I begged, fear oozing from my voice. "YOU STUPID LITTLE UNGRATEFUL BITCH". I BROUGHT YOU INTO MY HOME AND HAVE BEEN CARING FOR YOU, AND YOU STILL CHOOSE TO DISRESPECT ME". He yelled at me. "I'm so..so..sorry" I stutter out in tears. He continues slamming my head on the table till everything goes black.

Am I going to die? It doesn't matter anyway. Nobody will care or miss me.

My eyes slowly open, "I didn't die." I sigh to myself "Damn it" I say in a whisper. I started my first attempt at getting up and felt a sharp pain in my stomach and head. Placing my hand on my head I felt something warm and wet. I look down and see blood on the floor then look up to see blood on the wall. Sighing to myself I continue to stand up.

*The upcoming scene is going to include self-harm and the use of drugs pleas skip if you feel uncomfortable reading this. Just scroll until you see a warning over. *

I start my limp upstairs feeling sharp pains in my body. I make it to my room get some clothes and make my way to the bathroom. I take off my clothes and look in the mirror. Just looking at my reflection I broke and started to cry. I had a gash on my head, a black eye-busted lip, a bruise on my cheek and, a bruise on my jawline, and bruises, cuts, and burns scattered around my body.

I continue to look at my body and only worsened my crying.

Why was this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? I continued to cry to myself. Bringing my knees close to me I hugged them. I feel my heart start to fluctuate and panic builds up in me. I opened the cupboard under the sink and brought out the little box. Preying it open with force the shiny metals that fell out caught my eye and I took it out.

I held the cold shiny metal near my wrist and drag it across my skin. I did it a few more times and watched the blood drip down my arm. My heart slowly started to calm and after it fully calmed, I got up and cleaned the blood off the floor. When I was done, I got up and got in the bath. I let the hot water relax my aching body.

When I was done, I got out dried my body, and put on my clothes. I looked in my cabinet and got out the first aid kit. I took out some bandages and wrapped them around my arm and head then left the bathroom and went back into my room. I locked my door and went straight for my backpack.

I was able to get some molly and heroin today and was thankful I had these right now. I hid the small bad with about a dozen pills in them with my stash of marijuana, and go the things to prep the heroin out. This was my second time on heroin and I needed something strong like this to get me out of my mind. I almost didn't get my hand on this because Joseph thought I couldn't handle it. For a moment I thought he may have been worried about me, but I shouldn't delude myself. If I were to die and they traced the drug back to him he would go to jail. Nobody would ever worry about me, I'm all alone.

I started by crushing the six white pills in the zip lock bag till they were a fine powder. Then poured the powder onto the metal spoon and lit my lighter underneath it till I saw the powder starting to liquidize. I watched as it became completely liquid then I let it cool a bit before transferring it to the syringe.

I picked up the yellowish brow liquid in the syringe and made my way to my bed. I opened the little drawer beside my bed and took out the torn fabric I tied around my arm last time to make sure I saw the vein. Gently I slid the needle in and resliced the liquid to flow through my veins and into my blood so I can indulge in the wonderful feeling of ecstasy.

After some time, the effects of the drug kicked in and I felt complete bliss. I felt all the pain, the sadness, loneliness, all my problems slip away. And right now, all I could feel was happiness.

I turned over to my side and just looked at the wall. My eyes wandered as my imagination took over. I turned to my other side and let my eyes wander again.

My eyes travel over my bedside drawer and I see my locket in the drawer. I reach for the locket and pick it up. I opened it and stared at the picture. I felt tears well up in my eyes. "Stupid," I say to myself barely above a whisper. I put the locket under my pillow and turned back around to face the other corner. I silently cry to myself.

"I miss you mom I miss you, dad. I miss my brothers. I'm so lonely." I silently cry as the spell of sleep washes over me and I drift into a sad Slumber.