Good Girl Bad Girl (A Trevor Jackson Story)

25. Autumn Leaves Are Falling

Two days later, we were a wednesday afternoon, and I was sitting on my bed, reading my lesson as the sun was shining on me through my windows ; it was a beautiful weather for the beginning of a december month.
I loved nice weather. When the sun is shining really bright, the sky really blue with no clouds, the grass green as mint... It always puts me in such a good mood. I smiled, happy, and got up. No way I was staying inside by this weather. I grabbed my jean jacket and put it around my outfit (A/N : as usual, I made the outfit, in the external link ^.^ it'll mean a lot if you go check it out and follow me on Polyvore !) then got out of the house to walk to the park, with all my books and school supplies in my backpack.


A few minutes later, as I was sitting on the bench revising, my phone vibrated in my skirt's hidden pocket.
I read the text that I just received.

"Where are u ?"

It was April. She probably rang at my house to come visit me and didn't get any response.

"At the park" I typed back.

Five minutes later, I got a shadow on the book that was resting on my lap. Non surprised, I looked up to see April.
"Hey" I said.
"Hey" she replied.
She sat next to me. "You're still revising ?"
"Yup"
I lifted up my head though, to not seem impolite. It has only been a few days since April and I are friends again, and I now wanted to enjoy every moment I would spend with her.
"Why were you searching for me ?" I grinned a bit, nice.
"Olivia's spending the afternoon with Diggy for once, and I was bored so..."
"For once ?" I chuckled. "She's always with him."
"Yes" she lightly laughed too. Actually more like breathed more air through her nose. "But I mean for once as a wednesday. You know how wednesday is our day."
I stayed silent after that sentence, my eyes getting lost somewhere. It's true that since the incident, I haven't spend so much time with my best friends. Usually we always spend the wednesday afternoon together. But not this time.
"Why don't you wanna tell us what happened ?" April finally broke the silence, lost in thoughts too, looking right in front of her, not at me.
A little bit of wind shook my hair and the sky got a bit grey. The nice weather matching with my mood suddenly both faded away.
I sighed lightly. "Because. It's too soon."
"But we're worried about you. Was it that bad so that you don't want to talk about it ?"
I finally felt her turning her head to me. I didn't do the same as her though.
"No, it wasn't. It's just not important."
"It is. If you seem that affected, it is.”
I wasn't that affected, but I had no arguments left ; or maybe I just didn't want to argue.
I sighed again, louder this time, leaned in to put the books back in my backpack at my feet, and closed it. April understood.

I couldn't and didn't want to go straight back home. First, it was useless, and two, I needed a walk. I suddenly felt really depressed. The sky was now very grey, some wind was blowing, and I walked to a part of the neighborhood that looked more accurate to this time of the year, which meant autumn. Red and brown leaves were strewing the ground of the parks and yards I was walking next to. Not even trying to hold them back like I used to, I let the tears flow. Slowly. My face wasn't moving or contracting under the pressure of any sobs though ; I still had my dignity. I was tearing up, but my look was cold. It didn't reflect any pain nor sadness.
I usually didn't cry for that kind of things ; but the weather suddenly and weirdly made me feel down, for not any good reason. And I was on my period, which was probably not helping.
I was a good girl, yes, I was a nerd, and so I was smart and I had experience ; I knew it was okay to cry. I knew that everyone has a breakdown at some point. Even the toughest persons on this earth tear up. I said 'tear up' because everyone cries all the time ; but crying doesn't always mean tearing up. We are all humans being, we all have a heart, we all have feelings. And mine right now were shook like if someone took my heart in their hands and bended it. Didn't break it, but bended it ; and yes, it did hurt.
My tears were falling on the ground, off of my cheeks as I was still walking, pretty quickly. People say that love hurt, but actually it doesn't. Love doesn't hurt, if it really is love. Not true love, because true love doesn't exist, except in stories ; but if it's really love, it doesn't hurt. Hate hurts. And sometimes when two people love eachother, yes they can get hurt because of that ; but it's not because of the love they have for eachother, or else they wouldn't get hurt. It's because of the hate that's in the love. And between me and Trevor, no love was there. None. Teenagers hormones, yes. Hate too. And hate hurts.
I gulped to clear my throat and swallow the tears, which it worked ; they stopped and only two were now lefting on my face.
Without even watching where I was, I straddle over a black fence who was as tall as my waist, landed on a carpet of leaves and sat against a brick wall's house, my left arm resting on my bended knees, my right hand fermly holding my bag. My eyes got lost again, as I was thinking about nothing, really. I couldn't. My brain felt empty at the moment. I was probably in a random park.
It's about ten minutes later that I realized I wasn't as far away from my house as I thought I was. I was actually right in front of it. Facing the right wall if we were looking towards the other side walk, not towards the rest of the park. So I was actually in THE park, where I go almost every day. Uh. I wasn't even being careful and aware of where I was walking.

“Pretty as always” a voice let out, familiar. Too familiar.


A/N : Okay I am truly SO SORRY for not updating for all those days but I'm going to be honest with you... I had the first and a big. HUGE. WRITER BLOCK. EVER. The first time it has happened to me ! O.o but anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and it'd mean a lot if people like you would follow me, because all my followers are only R5 fans ! O.O so yeah I'd like you to follow me, and if you want a follow back, just ask ^.^ I also read any stories of you if it talks about Trevor or Diggy ! ;P so yeah if you want me to give you my opinion of your story or just simply read it, tell me ! I'll try to update often now ;P thanks for reading, don't forget to vote and comment, see ya !! :D