Nostalgic | P. PARKER

-To my heart that's broken

             Peter always thought life would've been better as Spider-man. That life as a superhero would be pretty swell since most his life he looked up to people like Tony Stark. Stark looked like he had things figured out, but turns out he had more secrets than an average person would.

Peter tried so hard to forget that that day ever happened. After all, he was one of the reasons of Freya Quinn's death.

She was so young, damnit.

She had so much planned in her life. Peter knew deep down how much she wanted to live, but the world thought otherwise. Freya is a bittersweet thought that always lingers in the Parker boy's mind.

He shook his head and continued walking through the halls of midtown. Ned was sputtering out questions, not even giving Peter room to answer.

"Why was Freya sending you letters?"

Peter looked up at Ned, knowing he had to answer sooner or later.

"She— um.. She wrote me letters before she died. I don't know why it showed up now though," Peter explained briefly. The things Freya said to him were personal and only for him to hear. That's how he knew her after all. She was always closed off and would prefer a private conversation over a swarm of people pining over a conversation with her. She's so popular yet she prefers minimum people surrounding her.

"Um.. Wanna explain briefly?" Ned urged Peter to continue. They entered english class and sat down in their respected seats. Fortunately, Peter gets to sit with Ned rather than a tall, bulky jock who ends up bullying and pestering him until the end of the semester. Luckily with Ned he just pesters him.

"Ned, you of all people know the idea of privacy." Peter scolded him.

For a second, Peter was relieved when He saw him backing away a bit since Peter really wanted to ace this class. Not to mention Mr Robertson hates his guts just because he failed one of his tests which was a rare occurrence for him. You can't blame him— He was off saving the city.

"Do you produce your own webs?" Ned suddenly asked him. Peter promptly replied with, "No, they're from my web thrusters. I made them myself."

"Badass."

"Mr Parker and company, do you want to share your fascinating discussion with the class?" Mr Robertson cut their conversation. Enjoying the fact that Peter was struggling to form a coherent excuse from the amount of people snickering and staring at them.

"Don't bother, Professor. They'll bore you to death with the amount of nerd language they'll manage to spew out," Flash spoke out from behind the class. He too was also enjoying Peter getting embarrassed. Everyone laughed at his joke, even Mr Robertson.

After a while Mr Robertson diverted the attention to him and continued his discussion over our upcoming project which was about loving ourselves. Peter was pretty sure it was somewhat related to Freya since the school was given the information that she killed herself because she despised herself. So, now the school is promoting self confidence. They even assigned them to go to the Counselor's office every once in a while.

This sucks, why does she have to continue and plague my mind everyday.

———————

School ended with a bang. Literally. Flash thought it was funny to throw firecrackers once Peter left the school premises. Of course, because of his spidey senses he managed to stay calm and avoid it.

The brown haired boy also managed to do some patrolling before going home. It was a peaceful night since the only thing he did was stop a thief from stealing a lady's churro.

Peter silently crept in his bedroom window. May is still on her shift so he needed to cook dinner for the both of them.

He dropped his bag to the side and strolled to the kitchen. The boy took out all the ingredients and utensils needed to cook a mushroom soup and chicken.

After flavoring the soup, Peter left it to go and grab his notes to cram up for the times he spent out as his alter-ego. By the time he opens his room, the first thing he saw was Freya's next letter.

He couldn't help but read it.

Hey, Peter.

It's Freya again. I know you're expecting me to say I'm sorry. Sorry for being stuck in this imaginary world where I thought you and I would work out. But, for once in my life I want to defend myself. I really don't feel sorry. At. All.

What I merely did was comfort you and tried to pry up your feelings so you could minimize the weight on your shoulders. I know you don't trust me enough for that so I tried to convince you to talk to anyone. I don't care if it isn't me.

Yet what you did was a low blow, Peter. You didn't have to attack my feelings. You didn't have to tell me to grow up and stop having feelings for you. You didn't have to include MY bestfriend, Liz, into your little rant. But you know what hurts most? You knew about my feelings but continued to shrug it off and play with me. You know I actually thought that you were different— that you were this guy that would make me feel like a human being rather than a statue everyone admires about.

But no, you discriminated me and made me feel like shit. You even had the audacity to tell me that I should be more like Liz. Guess what, Peter? I would never change myself just so I could fit your standard.

You hurt me. Made me think I wasn't enough. Made me feel like I'm the lowest of the low. Please, stop it.

It hurts.

Freya.

A tear slid from his eye, and another. For once Freya didn't even use the word love. Didn't even make his heart swell like all her other letters.

He had a feeling she won't do that for a long time.

——————

Building up angst for future chapters!! Also, I failed to mention that this book is an AU ( Alternate Universe ) which means I really don't need to follow the plot of homecoming. So, don't get confused when you don't see some crime-fighting action a lot. I just wrote the bank scene to give a gist of his alter-ego; Spider-man's life.

There will be a lot more angst on the next chapter so please stay tuned!! Also, Peter is an a-hole >:(

Don't forget to stay at home and keep safe everyone!!