The world is silent when Jack starts up Dean's car.
She's still in mint condition, a small dent in her hood from the previous case when Castiel had been slammed into her. He starts her up, the purr of her engine stirring up emotions within him, and he pushes it all away. Somewhere deep, where he can't reach them.
His eyes hurt, still bleary and red-rimmed, causing him to almost crash into a dump truck.
It's only been a day, and he's considering death. Everything just hurts.
Aimless driving leads him to a bakery, small cutout flowers plastered onto the display window, and he walks inside.
The person behind the counter looks at him with sympathy, and she smiles softly. 'Good morning. What would you like?'
'Do you have any spare birthday cakes?' His voice was raspy, and he cleared his throat. 'Sorry, I haven't eaten much for the past two weeks or so.'
The lady blinked, then passed a nervous smile. 'Sorry, buddy, but you need to schedule ahead of time.'
'Oh.' Jack frowned, looking down at his shoes, light blue vans that we're covered in dirt and dried blood. 'Thank you anyway.'
He walks out of the store, starting Baby once more before a small bell chimes, and the lady is running outside. 'Wait!'
The lady passes him a small, yellow cupcake with white sprinkles on top. She gives him another sympathetic smile, as Jack takes it curiously.
'You look like you need it.' She says, and Jack almost breaks down in the car.
Almost.
It doesn't matter, either way, when he reaches back to the bunker about 10 hours later, after finishing two-six packs of beer and actually stumbling upon the whiskey. It's not like the bunker was supplied with birthday supplies, so he stuck three matches into the cupcake, poking at it..
'Happy Birthday to me.' Jack says, and no one's really listening, anyway. God is dead. The angels have much more important things to take care of in heaven.
He sighed, watching the flame dance around for a bit, then flinching back quickly as the whole thing caught on fire. He rushed into the kitchen, grabbed a water bottle and ran back, slipping on air and head slamming into the corner of the wall, landing face first and blacking out.
🌻
Waking up, he pushed himself onto his elbows and groans. The pain in his head is throbbing, and he pushes two fingers against his skull to heal whatever damage has been done. He's silently wishing he could heal the damage the universe has done to him. No one would be able to make him feel better, broken and hollow and a shell of what he once was.
His dads would've made it better.
Fire. Jack's eyes open in realization, cursing himself internally over and over again and running back into the bedroom and the cupcake is gone. Instead in its place, a large, seven-layered cake standing proudly in the middle of it. It's as tall as him.
A red card is stuck into a small area in the 4th layer where someone clearly took a taste for themselves. He takes it, flips it over and almost breaks down right there and then.
<| I know how much you miss your fathers, Jack. I am truly sorry they aren't with you right now. You deserved so much better. Don't change who you are Jack, but grow from it. Happy birthday. Love, your Auntie Rowena. |>
Jack manages a weak smile, turning to the right and seeing a small, rectangular shaped present topped with an overly large blue bow. Pulling at it gently, it opens up and confetti is blasted into his face, and he giggles. He hasn't laughed in ages. It's a small book, and he doesn't even have to open it up to realise that it's a scrapbook. A scrapbook filled with memories of his dads.
Jack eagerly grabs it, holds it close to his chest, and falls to the floor, sobbing and screaming.
🌻
talk to me? specialagentrin
requests? tfw-needs-baby
[also on ao3]
