A Walk in Your Shoes

CHAPTER 20

"Marnie, I'm sorry. I should have talked to you or given you some kind of clue about what happened with mom. I tried to tell you many times."

He rests his hand on the arm of the chair and sighs. I get a good look at him. I feel partly to blame for his heavy eyelids and the purple bags under them.

"I was afraid to tell you all these years. You're my little girl, and the thought of telling you how I screwed up made me sick to my stomach. I knew it would come out eventually, but I hoped that I'd be the one to tell you."

His eyes water as he speaks. He would never intentionally hurt me. An immense amount of guilt piles up over me like a cloud looming overhead. I shouldn't have blown up the way I did, but it felt like my world was ending at the moment. The one person who I truly loved hurt me, and I reacted out of anger.

"I'm sorry I acted the way I did, but you have to see it from my perspective too. Finding out after all these years that the man I looked up to cheated on the woman he loved made me question a lot of things."

Dad sits up straight and presses his lips hard together. He scrubs his face hard with his hands. When he pulls his hands away, wetness forms just under his eyes.

"I know what I did was stupid and wrong. But I wasn't thinking about the consequences back then, only that I was unhappy, and Lucille was there for me. She allowed me to vent, and as time went on, I began to see her in a different light," he says.

Images of what happened last night loop in my head. I'm no better than he is. Last night I technically cheated on Cam. I kissed another guy because he'd been there for me the same way Lucille had been for dad. Dad rests his hand on mine, pulling me from my thoughts.

"I'm not asking you to forgive me. I know that forgiveness will take time. I honestly never meant for it to go this far. I'm still trying to clean up the damn hole I dug myself in with the people of this town. Honestly, though, I don't care what the people out there think of me. All I care about is you. I hope that one day you can forgive me, but for now, I'm asking for a second chance." His voice cracks.

Seeing dad on the verge of tears breaks me down. Everyone deserves a second chance, and I'm starting to realize that maybe Cam does too. Come Monday. I have a lot of feelings to sort through. I hope I can handle it all.

"I can do that," I whisper. "I love you so much, Dad," I cry.

We both stand, and he pulls me into another hug. "Love you too, sweetheart," he says.

"Hey, you still want to get that tattoo or piercing," he asks?

"Of course, I do." I grin.

"How's Saturday?"

My tears turn to smiles. "Saturday is great."

My mind wanders to the gift card in my bag from Flint. He knew I didn't need the money, yet he still spent his hard-earned cash towards a gift for me. Then he also played at my party for free. Using the card makes me feel like I'm taking his money.

"Hey, what's up?" Dad asks.

"Flint gave me a gift card for my birthday. It's fifty dollars for Lou's."

"Oh." He leans against the chair. "Are you two getting serious?"

I shake my head... "No, we aren't. He shouldn't be buying me these things. His family needs the money. I feel guilty using it."

I lower my head. I'm ashamed because it feels like I'm using him as a backup friend.

"It came from a good place, Marnie."

Silence passes between us.

"You like him," dad says in almost a teasing voice.

"Oh my God, dad. I told you I'm not talking about boys with you." I'm surprised by the laughter that escapes me.

Dad laughs. "Sorry, kid. So, Saturday, you and me?"

"It's a date."

Dad smiles just as the office door flies open, and I get soaked with a huge wall of water. Standing at the doorway, Dom and Derek have fully loaded water guns aimed straight at us.

"Marnie, quick under the desk," Dad yells.

I follow him under and sitting there are two super soakers filled and ready to go. Now I know most parents would punish their children for even thinking about playing with water guns in the house, but in my family, it's normal. So, although I can't remember the last time, we joked around like this.

"Boys, my office is off-limits," dad says.

Dom and Derek run as I load up and squirt mine right towards the hallway. Lucille joins dad and me, and we race to find the boys. She leads us into the kitchen, where a beautiful round cake with white fondant frosting sits on the counter. Dom and Derek shoot up from behind the counter and shout, "Surprise!"

I turn to dad and Lucille with watery eyes.

"We're sorry we missed your birthday, and we wanted to make it up to you."

"So, I can have cake for breakfast then?" I ask with a smirk.

I spend the rest of my Saturday indulging in cake and jamming in the music room with everyone. For the first time in a long time with the five of us in the music room, it feels like we're a family again. Of course, there are many things I still have to work on fixing, both with family and friends, but for now, I'm content playing music and spending time with my family. Losing myself in music is the perfect remedy for everything, but come Monday, I'll have to face the world again and try to figure things out the best I can.