momma please don't cry, i will be alright | trevor philips

Chapter II

Creep - Kina Grannis

It was a doomed love story.

One that ended so perfectly.

The two lovers died together.

It was a doomed love story, until I didn't die.

I'm Bella, I wrote.

I'm alive. I should be dead.

Bella

Four Months Earlier

The sirens, oh they were so loud. I had gone completely deaf. My face, it hurt so badly. It ached with convulsion. I laid still on the concrete road, I felt a variety of vibrations beneath me. Intense vibrations, and then little vibrations. It all happened so sudden. And I could feel the heat. It burned my face. I only knew an explosion happened. I didn't know what it was because my mind was blank. I was so distracted by the tears streaming down from my eyes and the scorching pain of impact my body took. I knew I was making some sort of sound, but I didn't know what it exactly sounded like. It was probably a mix of a cry, a moan, a scream. The people around me probably thought I was dead. I felt dead. I should be dead.

"I should be dead", I always came to that thought.

I'm always thinking I should be dead.

I don't know how many minutes passed, but I finally got the courage to get up, my weak bones struggled every bit as I tried positioning myself up onto my knees.

The pain I felt was so unbearably horrific. I seriously believed that I was not alive and I was just beginning the adventure of my afterlife.

Blood was on my face and down my neck, it had soaked through my clothing. I still had my helmet attached to me, everything was so blurry when I got to my feet. I swayed back and forth when I began walking away from the scene. I saw the crash. I saw the helicopter. Trevor's helicopter. Then I remembered I still wore the parachute he forced me to put on.

I don't know how I got away. I just ran. Ran so far away.

I ran at a rapid pace. Even when I felt like collapsing on my knees from not being able to breathe I still ran. The hole in my chest was getting larger, I knew the heartbreak I was going to feel later would end up killing me.

Dear God, why am I alive?

I questioned why God kept me. Why he thought I needed to live. Why, God? Why do I need to be alive? Why didn't you just kill me like you killed my lover?

This pain, I was going to blackout. My body was bleeding in so many places that I didn't even know. Both of my legs hurt, and my back, that was the worst. I hid behind a building down an alley and slid to the ground, crying some more.

I unclipped my helmet and chucked it on the cement, it made a scraping sound. My head seemed fine, there was no blood coming from there but I for sure had some sort of concussion. I probably did something to my back, even though I landed on my side.

The sirens were getting louder and I thought they had found me and were going to take me in. Well, that's not what I wanted. So I ran some more.