Always you

Chapter 5

"I ordered your favourite dishes and both of your favourite chilli sauces."

"Thank you Papi. You didn't have to go all out." Gun was looking at the wide spread of food on the dining table. Off was smiling.

"We haven't had dinner, just the two of us in a long time, so yeah; I wanted to make it extra special." Gun smiled back.

"Sit. Sit. Before it goes cold."

Gun couldn't help wonder if they were always going to be this awkward around each other.

"You said over the phone, you wanted to talk, what's up Gun?"

"Do you have feelings for me?" Off immediately choked as he had a coughing fit. He hastily grabbed a water glass. He couldn't drink the water fast enough. Gun knew that offense was always better and went straight for the kill.

Why beat around the bush? This 'thing' was hanging around their heads and the sooner they talked about it, the better.

"What?"

"It's a yes or no question." Off squinted his eyes and looked at Gun who was heartily eating away.

How was it so easy for him to say something like that? How could he not be embarrassed or even scared to say such things?

"It's complicated."

"How is it complicated? It's not actually. It's either you like me or you don't. No in between."

"I care for you."

"That's not what I asked!!"

"Why are you asking? Why now? Do you have feelings for me??"

"Would you be mad if I said yes?"

"What?"

"Yes. The answer is yes. For a while now. Are you really going to pretend to be surprised?"

"What do you want from me Gun? We just came back from a crisis and now you want to start something. Can't we just get along as before? Don't rock the boat."

"Don't get me wrong Papi. This conversation will not affect our work. This has nothing to do with our work so yes, I insist on an answer from you. I have to know for my own sanity!!"

"Gun, I can't give you the answer you want."

"I want the truth Papi, that's all I need from you. Don't placate me or tell me what you think I want to hear. I want the truth." Off deeply exhaled before answering.

"No. I don't think I have romantic feelings for you."

"Ok. Disappointing but, yeah, ok. I .. um.. accept what ... you are saying."  Gun cleared his throat multiple times before he gulped the rest of the wine while Off watched him afraid of what Gun would do next.

Gun was the kind of guy to take things to extremes and Off was worried just how badly this rejection would go. He braced himself for the worst.

He watched Gun topping his glass almost to the brim and at the last minute, Gun just gulped the rest of the bottle without saying a word to Off.

Off knew that if he said or did anything now, Gun would lash out. Gun finished the rest of the meal in silence. No tears, no complaints, no blame and no words. After 2 long and excruciating hours of watching Gun slowly getting drunk, Gun finally spoke.

"Papi, please call a cab for me. I think I'm too drunk to drive back."

"Stay the night Gun."

"Normally, I would want that, God knows how I craved for you when we were not talking but I really shouldn't. I mean is it really a good idea for me to share a bed with someone I'm madly in love but can't have?" Gun giggled and let out a loud belch.