So when he eventually spotted his friend and Sicheng noticed him too, he panicked. Just as the boy was about to call after him, Ten turned on his heels and ran away—like always. Like when he was made fun of back in his hometown, like when he found out about the accident two years ago, like when the lies started spreading and like when he fought with the only person that looked under his mask. Instead of facing his fears, he ran away from them.
Ten was a coward.
✈✈✈
Just like the rainy days when clouds cover the sky and hover above the grounds, his feelings were one big storm with thunders.
Doyoung laid on his back, staring at his ceiling covered in the moonlight.
It was the valentine's day, the day he should not care about at all, the day like any other day he could spend with his friends.
Friends. That word always left a bitter mark every time he was met with it. Who were his friends at that point? Faces were flashing in front of his face and the boy heaved a sigh.
Doyoung felt terrible as if he was betraying so many people despite the fact that he decided to move on a long time ago. It was like he was either betraying the past or the present and he couldn't suddenly choose.
Two years, two long years changed everything and once again he was overthinking. His memories, his life choices, his emotions. And with every bittersweet memory that brought another splash of droplets from the storm, his mind always wandered back to the present and Taeil. The thought of the boy kept him sane for some reason and Doyoung tried to hold himself from texting him the whole night.
He wanted, he really did—even his fingers were holding the phone too tightly that he feared it would break.
However, deep down the boy knew he couldn't do it. Doyoung felt too many emotions and that made him so terrified that he couldn't even move. As if he weighed a ton the second he opened his eyes that morning and he was lucky that his mom was more than understanding.
How did he achieve to get used to someone so fast after everything? It was natural, he would have to get closer to someone eventually. Did he want to though?
Paranoia was lying on top of him like a blanket, preventing him from doing anything and he hated the way it affected him. No, no, no, he kept telling himself.
Because it was impossible. Taeil was not the demon he feared, there was no way he was becoming what he tried to escape from. They were completely different personalities, he isn't him.
Taeil was a sweet, genuinely nice person who saw light in everyone. Doyoung always feared that he was treating him the way he would treat anyone else just out of pure kindness until the boy convinced him enough that he's genuine. He's a good friend and, in his eyes, even a possible role model. Despite him having kind of harsher life, as he briefly mentioned during one of his talks, he works hard. That is Taeil—an angel.
He was a lost boy, blind and too broken to be fixed. There was a lot more to his personality but under the pretty face and slick words, a different person was hiding from the world. And as bad as it sounds, he managed to pass that onto Doyoung. Tragic but also selfish and shitty, as the mute now thought about it.
The mute didn't have the chance to fully go through these thoughts the last year since he was still recovering and the subject was still sensitive to touch—but now it seemed okay, it even felt relieving. Like he was finally escaping the lies he was wrapped in, Taeil and his friends helping him to broke the chains he was imprisoned with.
That's why the mute boy didn't feel dreary anymore, rather frustrated, a thunder striking across his chest while he took a breath. The way his life started going downhill the moment he found the person he loved in that stupid bathroom, the way he got distant from his former friends because of his foolishness, the way his life shattered as the first snowflakes started hitting the road.
Doyoung could prevent everything if he wasn't so blindly in love with Jaehyun.
The name stung his heart but the pain soon switched to anger. He got up on his already numb legs in a second, almost falling down and swiftly walked over his bookshelf. The book he favoured the most was still in the same place he put it when Taeil was visiting him for the first time. The thought of the smaller boy that resembled the sun when he smiled was what made Doyoung grab the book and take out the photo that was hidden there for the whole time.
He stared at the photo of him standing next to the boy smiling charmingly with his dimples. It should've been thrown away a long time ago, ripped apart and burned. All nice emotions he felt before disappeared as he observed the polaroid and their faces more and more.
They both looked so young, happy and in love. They indeed were, each of them with a different person.
And each of them got hurt in the end.
~~~ another bit of back story! I want this story to start moving faster so it won't be too long and complicated (damn me and my perfectionism) & I hope I'm doing it right so far ehh
Also, I made a few changes in the book because it just didn't fit the story - mainly: Kun is not involved at all. I hate to write it here like this but I constantly make changes in the past chapters as I'm never satisfied and I hate it even more when my readers are confused :<
I'M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING BUT I'LL TRY TO FINISH THIS STORY AS BEST AS POSSIBLE ㅠㅠ ᵗʰᵃⁿᵏ ʸᵒᵘ ᶠᵒʳ ʳᵉᵃᵈⁱⁿᵍ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳᵗʰᵉˡᵉˢˢ ♡︎
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