To Be

Chapter Twenty-Three

"I see."

Then how does he know so much about me? What is he hiding? The only conclusion that I can come to right now---is that Levi Cruze is a big fat liar. And that everything he said was said just to play with my messed-up mind.

But then maybe not---maybe he does know a lot more than just my name.

"Shelby?"

I jump in my seat, my elbow banging into the armrest. Ouch.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. You seemed to have been in your own world and I was just trying to get your attention." Dr. Lewis looks so guilty, it's kind of adorable.

"It's ok," I tell her. "Was just thinking."

"Do you mind me asking what exactly happened with my nephew?"

My eyes are cast down at my clenched hands. "He said something that kept my mind whirling. He said that he knows more than just my name. He made it sound like he knew everything that I've done. My past."

She surprises me with a chuckle. "My nephew sure knows how to burrow himself into a girl's mind."

My gaze is solely on her now. "So you're saying he might have just been messing with me?"

"You never know when it comes to Levi. As a child, he was always spinning tales."

But what would he gain by lying to me?

"Don't let him get to you Shelby, ok?"

I force myself to meet her soft brown eyes. "Ok."

"Good. Now was there anything else that you wanted to discuss?"

Shaking my head, I say, "No."

"Then I'll see you on Monday."

With jelly legs, I push myself off of the recliner. "Till then. Have a good weekend."

She smiles--- the 1 that is slightly lopsided. "Thanks, you too."

I leave her office with more questions that need answers.

Question: How will I get the answers that I need?

Answer: Levi. He is the solution.

***

I stare at the baked ziti before me. I don't seem to have much of an appetite. I can't stop replaying my conversation with Dr. Lewis. It's as if it's on repeat, playing over and over and over again inside my head. I think I'm going to explode.

The bell rings and my friends begin to trickle into the cafeteria, Adrian in the lead. He's beaming at me, but when he takes in my face that beam turns into a concerned frown. His eyes search mine.

"What's wrong?" he asks once he reaches me.

"Nothing was just thinking." I don't need to concern him with my thoughts on Levi. I already can see that he's not much of a fan of the other boy.

"Ok, I'm gonna go and get my lunch then. Be back shortly."

I give him a weak smile. "I'm not going anywhere." My eyes begin to scan over the large room, searching. Levi isn't here again. Maybe he went back to join the gang that he left. Maybe he's a mafia member. Or a secret agent--- someone who's tracking me...

I'm drawn away from my racing mind as Robin slides into the seat across from me, Ellie on his right. "Everything ok?" they question in unison.

I nod.

"Then why haven't you touched your baked ziti? You love pasta," Ellie says.

This time I shrug. "Not very hungry today."

"You have a fever?" Sierra sits down beside me and leans over placing her palm on my forehead. "Nah, you're good."

"Yes, guys, I'm fine."

Just then Adrian comes up behind me, his hand resting on my shoulder. I'm guessing he's balancing his lunch tray with his other hand. "How about you eat some pudding?"

"I'm not that hungry."

"Your loss." He slips into the blue Polypropylene chair on my left and places the stark white tray before him. His lunch consists of a full bowl of baked ziti, chocolate pudding, and an orange juice box drink.

All of my favorites. My mouth salivates as my stomach churns. "Excuse me," I hear myself saying. I'm out of my seat within seconds and quickly make a dash for the restrooms.

***

Tap-tap-tap. I tap my feet along the tiled floor. Pink, yellow, pink.

I don't know how long I've been hiding in the bathroom stall, it feels like forever.

I stop tapping as someone enters. Shiny red ballet flats come to a stop before my stall.

"Shelly?"

My lips are sealed.

Again. "Shelly?"

My lips remain sealed.

A sigh. "Fine don't answer. I just wanted to let you know that the bell is going to ring in a minute and I don't think you want to be late for class."

2 lips sealed, sealed, sealed.

Sierra leaves the bathroom, the door slamming shut behind her.

A minute later the bell rings and I don't budge.