At my Best

Chapter 10

"I'm so sorry Lisa. I know how much I messed up---"

"It's okay Jennie" she cut me with her response still cold as an ice.

"I realize how badly I fucked it up. I didn't mean any of it. I was also disappointed of myself" I explained.

"Like I told you, it's okay Jennie" she keeps on repeating it's okay when I know it's not.

"I'm hurting that you're giving me the cold shoulder" My eyes started to well up but I'm trying not to cry.

"I'm hurt that I feel like I'm nothing to you" she responded shedding a tear upon saying those... and that was the first time I ever saw her cry.

I knew I hurt her, and I swear to all gods I never meant it.

"N-no... it's not that Lisa---"

"Jen..." she cut me out. "If it wasn't like that, how could you explain that you suddenly forgot about me started when he arrived? You didn't even bother yourself to introduce me. You toured him around the set. You introduced him to all the crew and staff....... and you went out on a dinner with him when I was just there. You didn't even remember me" she was almost sobbing.

"I'm sorry... I know how I messed up. I'm really sorry" I keep on repeating. I have nothing to say, I know I have nothing to blame on her. It's all my fault.

"It's okay Jennie. Don't worry. I won't interfere anymore. You can be with him" she said. Is she letting go?

"Nooo... you said you're going to pursue me?"

"I did. But tell me, will you still pursue that one person when you see how happy she is with someone else? I already lose it Jennie. I won't make it hard for you, I'm going back to London tomorrow morning" My eyes widen after hearing the latter.

"What? No... no, please Lisa" I hugged her, I was hoping that this could change her mind.

"Why do you want me to stay? Do still want to hurt me more?" She asked softly.

"No.... the last thing I wanna do is to hurt you" I sobbed while hugging her.

"QDon't leave me, Lisa" I pleaded.

"My role here is done. I failed" she said. I'm still hugging her but she never hugged me back.

"Not yet Lisa. Yqou haven't played your role yet" I answered, still sobbing.

"I already failed" she answered.

"No, you didn't fail in any! I am the one who fail, I failed to return the love you deserve!"

"You don't have to force yourself if you really don't Jennie. The last thing I want to get is fake love"

"Who says I'm faking? I'm starting to fall for you Lisa. You cannot just stop!"

"You cannot just say that just because you feel guilty for what happened"

"I'm serious!!" I started to yell and I don't care anymore if our friends will hear us.

I was crying hard while hugging her. "Please, please, please... give me another chance Lisa?" I pleaded repeatedly. Her body started to soften and she caressed my back as she tries to stop me from crying.

"Okay.... then I think I should win you back" she chuckled.

Now she's chuckling? Oh shit, I realized she just did that to check if I'm starting to catch feelings ko her. I felt my blood almost drained upon the realization. Oh my god, this woman. I facepalmed myself internally.

But what's said is said. And besides, it is the truth. Somehow, I also felt a relief that I actually said it out finally.

"Does this mean you're not leaving anymore?" I faced her, eyes still puffy.